50-50 Parenting

My mind is a little clearer now on the recent Child Custody bill in Florida...so let me continue...

This isn't about 50-50 rights to the children. The part that legislators fail to understand, or better yet, acknowledge, is that children are not objects.

You can't even split a house 50-50 in a divorce proceeding, technically; however, you can make other arrangements, such as buy-out, or even something such as letting the mother stay with the kids, but having her be responsible for the mortgage (the proposition with the divorced parents spending split time living in the one house that the children are accustomed to, is some crazy shit, so I'm excluding that type of 50-50.) and owing the father some of the equity when/if she sells. WHEN. IF. Somebody loses.

Father's rights groups and their counterparts (often disguised as children's rights) are asserting themselves, once again, as having the best interests of the children in mind. Sure, both parents ought to have equal and continuing contact with their children after the parties have divorced. Doesn't that sound good? Good on paper, at least? However, you must be forced to consider this main factor--What type of role the father played before the divorce.

The fathers I have in mind come and go as they please. They interact with the children when they feel good, or when it is convenient for them, leaving at least 80% of the care to the mother. Do they bathe the children? Do they cook for the children? Do they haul the children and their friends around for sports, piano, and after-school clubs? Do they communicate with their children's teachers? Do they spend time grooming the kids? The answer is no.

Now, I can't say that all fathers are like that. I cannot say that. But according to evolutionary standards and traditional roles, men provide. They are not involved in the day-to-day activities. They leave, go hunt, go play, and leave the women to hold down the fortress and take care of the household. That's why we WOMEN carry the children within us...we care for them before and after birth...we nurse them. Do men want to breastfeed, too?

And I'm not saying that we have to adhere to traditional roles, because, ignorantly, if that were the case, I may be a slave working for my massa or in the house, barefoot and pregnant with no formal education.

We women have evolved as we have discovered our autonomy and self-respect, and juggled multiple roles inside and outside of the home. How have men changed? What are they doing differently? WHAT ARE MEN DOING DIFFERENTLY?

Some say that the destruction of the family began with feminism and women's rights. The destruction of the family began with, and continues with men violating the rights of women and children in this paternalistic society.

Divorce, for the majority, seems to indicate that the two parties couldn't agree on things. How then can the court turn around and either expect them to come up with an agreeable contract, or impose a court-ordered contract that may not be suitable for the parent that has maintained most of the responsibility for the children? On top of that, it falls back on the mother to fix things if said contract is not upheld by the father. Or is the mother to return to the court every time the father does not pick up the child for weekly visitation? Where is the fairness?

It looks like this will cost tax payers more in the long run, creating a further burden for already "overworked" family court judges, mediators, and the rest of the system that makes money off of this.

Somebody loses...and it is the children.