Been that. Done there.

by Nancy R. Koerner – Naples, FL

Copyright © 2008 – All Rights Reserved

No, my subject line is not reversed. We, who have spent years or even decades caught in the web of DV are perhaps never fully liberated from the intense emotion and poignant memories of violence and chaos. Sure, we attend therapy. We learn ways of dealing with the past. The edges have been softened by time. The poison has been diluted, but the dregs remain. How does DV happen? Even from a relatively objective standpoint, it’s not totally clear. How is it that someone we love gradually begins to dominate every facet of our lives? How is it that the man we have chosen above all others seems to morph into our adversary, gaining and maintaining some warped psychological advantage over us? How is it that he seems to write, direct, and produce the entire scenario of our everyday lives – stage set, script written, and dialogue executed? How is it that we, like automatons, observe our lives being played out in slow motion, disembodied, watching our mouths move and our blood flow, wondering why we can no longer feel or think? And how can we fight when they use our children as the ultimate control, a stranglehold to keep us subdued and in their grip. Our children are our weakness, right? Wrong. Our children are our strength. With your children in the mix, you will NOT give up. And those of us who have lived through it will not LET you give up either. No matter how bad it is, time has a way of working these things out. Believe me. Been that, done there.