Teen Violence and Dating

by Nancy R. Koerner – Naples, FL
Copyright © 2008 – All Rights Reserved

Many people are under the illusion that married women are the only targets for domestic violence, but actually the syndrome can start at a much younger age. Teen-age girls are victims too. Why? Because girls naturally seek romance. Influenced by childhood fairy tales, they await their knight-in-shining-armor on a noble steed. They anticipate perfection in their relationship and with the blindness of with Prince Charming – man, woman, home, family, and children. In blind faith, and often in total denial of reality, they pursue the dream of the house in suburbia and proverbial white picket fence. It’s the quest for happily-ever-after.

So what happens? Well, they date. They become enamored with each other. The “romance” deepens, and the young girl is sure she’s “in love.” The boyfriend begins to monopolize her life, and starts isolating her from friends and activities. Exhibiting controlling behavior, he is critical of her appearance and her choices. He insults her intelligence and demeans her in public and in private. Eventually, he physically abuses her. Meanwhile, between these episodes, he repeatedly apologizes and proclaims his love. This is the beginning of a pattern that will continue through marriage. Even if the marriage is with another guy, the victim will have already learned the behavior and will have accepted it as “normal.” Bad choices create crisis. These relationships are a dead end. The only answer is to recognize the deadly syndrome before it becomes established.

If you are one of these young girls or women, you must understand that you are probably suffering from an underlying lack of self-confidence. Perhaps you think this boy or man is the only one, that you’ll never find another to “love” you. Wrong! There are lots of good guys out there. You will meet someone else. You have value. Don’t sell yourself short. Draw on your own strength, cross that bridge. You have more power within your soul than you can possibly imagine…