I Don't Know, O.J.

I awoke this morning to discover that O.J. Simpson is guilty as charged. I don't know what to think because I have conflicting emotions regarding the entire situation.

We all know that he was found not guilty of murdering his wife and her friend. Not guilty, which means, the absence of enough information to prove him guilty. Not guilty, which is not the same as innocent.

Am I trying to imply that he did murder them? Not exactly. Only O.J., Nicole, and Ron (and the Lord) can be certain. But my problem is that there was a history of domestic violence--from phone calls to photographs.

Yes, it seemed that the Black community rejoiced when O.J. was "freed," and White America was mad as hell; but, it wasn't that simple. It wasn't that we all believed his innocence, it was more so that we had be lifted from oppression in which the Black man had been set free of White accusations. "We won."

Historically, White women have accused Black men of "stuff" since...forever. This time, it didn't work. We were vindicated...liberated.

But were we?

As a people, perhaps. As Black women?...we are caught in a bind...one that, when forced to defend ourselves we choose defending our race, protecting our men. Our sex--status as a women--is secondary to the cause.

Maybe we've totally fucked up all this time and have been protecting the guilty...and where has this gotten us? We are still not free. We suffer the most out of anyone here in the U.S.

And I don't want to paint us as helpless victims. Black women have conquered many barriers and risen in situations of absolute destitution. We continue to fight.

Back to O.J.

Because we know that White America had a vengeance for O.J., could he ever get a break? Maybe he's been hunted for the past decade and now, finally, captured so that he could pay for his old crimes. I don't think that there could have been any impartial jury of his peers in the entire Americas.

Is this fair? Is this payback? Is there redemption?

I don't know, O.J.