Urge Shared Parenting, PUHlease

When these shared parenting articles hit the newspapers and blogs, I almost have to laugh. Who are these "men" kidding? While I would prefer not linking to these articles, or discussing them at all, I don't have the patience to register in order to comment, so I must do it here.

Where are the fathers? Our communities are asking that question...

What communities are asking that question? I didn't know they were still asking it--that's an old-ass question. But if they are indeed asking it, it is because society has conditioned them to ask simple questions in order to get simple answers. When instead, the reasons are much more complex than the idea of fatherlessness.

...more children are dropping out of school, becoming parents at a young age and even dealing with ever-increasing violence.

Is this true? Are more and more kids dropping out of school, and etc? Could this not be a failure of the public school system to meet the changing dynamics of this generation of children? Or the lack of involvement in children's education, period? I wasn't aware of any stats that said teen pregnancy is increasing. In fact, I thought a recent study just came out this fall saying that the numbers were down. And I do know that violence increases as poverty increases. Thank you Prez. Bush.

Custody and visitation rights are the biggest obstacles keeping fathers from participating in their children's lives.

Double false. The problems that these "fathers" have, during and after the marriage, are their biggest obstacles. Those main problems being self-absorption, lack of interest in parenting, and utter disrespect for the child's mother--whom he expects to continue to meet his demands even after the marriage has dissolved. Many mothers would gladly allow the father to participate, if only he were doing just that.

In cases of shared parenting, child support becomes the equal responsibility of both parents.

You see how that was thrown in there, right? BINGO! Nuff said.

If more men were granted shared parenting rights, then we wouldn't be asking where these fathers are.

True. But we may be asking where the mothers and children are. See the R.I.P section on the right side of this blog. But the best truth is, if the kids were supported, not living in poverty, and had access to the resources they needed, we still wouldn't be asking where the fathers were.

If any parent who enters into a shared parenting agreement fails to adequately support or care for the child, this agreement can be rescinded at the judge's discretion.

Who wants to keep going back to court every 6 months, raise your hand?! And who wants the government interfering with every aspect of your family life? And how many of you that have been in the system feel that that same system has adequately protected you and looked out for your best interest? I didn't think so.

Most studies have proven that shared parenting is in the best interest of the child and leads to better development of a child's social and educational skills.

What studies? They specifically looked at shared parenting while factoring out all of the other variables? That is one good-ass study.

Men have to deal with trying to pay their own bills while in many cases having half their take-home income taken for support.

So, I guess the fact that women and children live in abject poverty while the woman assumes homemaking, child-rearing, and employee roles is somehow, not as bad as a single man, with no other responsibilities, supporting himself.

When are we going to try something different?

I keep asking the same damn thing. When are you [fathers] going to try something different?

Give the fathers who want more time with their children an opportunity to have it.

And there you have it again, folks. More time. All they want is more time...which is not equal to responsibility.



See Also

Debunking Diabolical Dads
Liz Responds to Wade Horn's Importance of Being of Being A Father
Equal Parenting for Divorced Couples May Be Scrapped in Australia