MYTH:
Men and women are equal participants in the care of children.
REALITY:
Women are overwhelmingly the primary caregivers of children, whether it is within separated families or intact families. In 1996, nearly nine out of ten single parent families were headed by women. Across Canada, fathers headed only 7.3 percent of single parent families. And even in two-parent households, when mothers are employed, they spend roughly double the time on the care of children than do employed fathers. [Source: Statistics Canada: Vanier Institute of the Family, October 1996 Survey.]
More importantly is the different value placed on the child rearing activities of mothers and fathers. For the most part, women's day-to-day demonstrated care and contribution to parenting is taken for granted and grossly under-rated. By contrast, any little parenting contribution made by men tends to be applauded and considered equal to or far greater than the contributions made by women.
Any legislative changes should be based on the presumptions that custody of children should be with the parent who was the primary caregiver when the parents' relationship was intact, and that the best interests of children cannot be separated from the best interests of the primary caregiver. An approach that is truly child-centred must recognize actual parenting practices rather than future promises being made.
Monday
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2 advocates for peace:
You have summed up what I have had in my brain that I could not find the words for since my divorce. The child should be cared for and live with the parent who has done it from day one (unless of course that would place the child in danger) and that the best interests of the child and that parent should be first and foremost.
This was taken from a study that is 10 years old now. I hold firm to this belief. I also couldn't articulate it until I read about the primary caretaker rule. Then, it all made sense.
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