Monday

An Abuser's Tactic: How One Father Used A Child Custody Dispute to Discredit Sexual Abuse

This is some calculated shit.
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1. How and why did you select your victim?

I am incarcerated because I molested my 11 year old nephew and also my 3 year old son. I selected my victims by availability, and I also knew that I had the victims’ trust and that the victims would be less likely to tell someone that I molested them. I also selected my nephew and son because of access, and my distorted thinking that they would not tell on a relative. I also thought that if they would say something to me about my molesting them I would be able to put some guilt in their minds so they would not tell. I could do this easier with my victims than with strangers. Also, in my distorted thinking, I thought that if they said anything about my touching them inappropriately I could make them think that it was OK for family to touch in such ways, ways that are inappropriate.

2. What did you do to try to keep your victim from reporting the crime?

With my nephew, I molested him while I thought he was asleep, so I never had to say anything
verbally to him. I used his being asleep to keep him from reporting the crime. I later found out
that he was not asleep, but I did not know this until he had told someone about the molestation.

To keep my son from telling anyone, I used the excuse that while I was bathing him I had to
wash his genitals, but he still said something in front of me and my ex-wife. He was rubbing his
genitals and his mother asked him what he was doing. He told her in front of me that “Dad
does it!” meaning that I fondled his genitals. I jumped into the conversation by telling him that
he had better stop saying things that could get me in trouble. I also told him to stop lying. I did
this in a very aggressive and threatening way toward my son. I used my size and position as his
father to scare him into being quiet. Also, the night that I digitally penetrated his anus, he woke
up and started crying and told me to stop. I told him it was just a bad dream and to go back to
sleep. That way, he would not say anything the next day, I thought. I hoped that he would
think he was dreaming.

3. How did you set up your crime to make your victims seem non-credible if they reported the crime?

With my son, I tried to set up the crime to happen while he was bathing. This would give me an excuse to touch his genitals, and if he said anything I could always say I was just bathing him.

4. Did you ever use a child custody dispute to make a report of your crime seem non-credible?

I tried to say that my ex-wife was making this crime up so that she could get custody of my son. I always said that she knew I would get custody of our son, so she had to make me look bad.

5. What did you do when your crime was reported to convince people you did not commit the crime and/or make people believe the victim was lying?

I recruited people by trying to put down and discount my ex-wife’s credibility. I would bring up all her faults and negatives to try to get people to think she was lying. I did not try to convince people that my son or nephew were lying. I tried to say that they were only saying what my ex-wife made them say. I would put all the blame on my ex-wife, saying that she would do anything to me to keep me from getting my son, even if it meant lying about me molesting my own son.

6. If you victimized a child in your home, what did you do to prevent the child from telling other family members? Did you help create bad feelings between the victim and other family members?

I would try to make the molestation seem as if it were a normal thing. I would molest my son while he was in the bathtub. Also, I molested my son and nephew while they were sleeping, hoping that they would not know that I was fondling them. When it did get brought out by my son that I had been touching his genitals, I scolded him and told him to stop lying and not to say bad things that would get me in trouble.

No, I never created bad feelings between my victims and the family. I tried with my ex-wife, though.

7. How have you manipulated law enforcement/authorities to make them feel your problems and crime were not that serious?

I tried to put all the blame on my ex-wife. I told the authorities that she had made up these charges because she wanted to make sure she got custody of our son. I also tried to make it sound as if all I was really doing was bathing my son.

8. How have your manipulated sex offender therapists to convince them you have changed, or that your problems and crimes are not that serious?

No. I have not minimized my crime.

9. How have you manipulated probation or parole officers to convince them that you have changed, or that your problems and crimes are not that serious?

N/A

10. How have you manipulated family members or relatives to convince them you have changed, or your problems and crimes are not that serious? Describe any techniques you used to manipulate family members to give you access to victims or potential victims that you then victimized?

With my son, it was easy to set up the crime. With my nephew, I asked him and his parents if he could stay the night. I then used this to molest him while he was sleeping.

11. Would you be willing to be interviewed on video tape about any of these issues?

Yes.

12. How have you manipulated law enforcement/authorities to make them feel your problems and crime were not that serious?

I told them that my victim was my first victim. I also blamed my alcoholism for the behaviors of my sexual assault on my victim.

13. How have your manipulated sex offender therapists to convince them you have changed, or that your problems and crimes are not that serious?

I’ve never given myself the chance to change until now because I justified my actions as only being verbal*, not stopping to realize I’d already sexually assaulted my victim by fantasizing the sexual acts I wanted to perform on her and her on me.

14. How have you manipulated probation or parole officers to convince them that you have changed, or that your problems and crimes are not that serious?

I kept telling my probation officer (94-98) that I was really getting a lot out of therapy about myself. I also kept drinking heavily at this time, and she never had a clue.

15. How have you manipulated family members or relatives to convince them you have changed, or your problems and crimes are not that serious? Describe any techniques you used to manipulate family members to give you access to victims or potential victims that you then victimized?

By working hard, long hours, and steady, and staying to myself, not going anywhere, staying home. I also told them I only used verbal sexual words on my victim and that I didn’t touch her and didn’t want to touch her.

16. Would you be willing to be interviewed on video tape about any of these issues?

I’d be willing to be interviewed on video tape about any of these issues.


C This offender woke the victim out of a sound sleep, asked her to participate in oral sex and asked her about other girls who might have sex with him. He then threatened “to get her” if she told anyone.


You can read more here
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Now think of what psychological tools could/would/did aid this abuser: false memory syndrome, false rape allegations, parental alienation syndrome...



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2 advocates for peace:

Melissa Apr 3, 2009 7:05:00 PM  

Ugh! Just...ugh! I want to add something more meaningful but first I have to get that terrible taste out of my mouth.....

This proves our point Randi; Child molesters aren't "sick" they're sociopaths. Sociopathy is NOT a mental illness because a person who is mentally ill doesn't know what they're doing. They don't mean any harm. This monster here DOES know what he's doing , he DOES mean to harm. Want to bet this SOB lives in Florida?

Rj Apr 6, 2009 12:17:00 PM  

Yeah, I have the term "sick." People with cancer treated by chemo are sick. Abusers are conniving, manipulative...

Lives in Florida? HAHA You sound like ME!!!



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