Friday

Beginnings of Parental Bonding

Myth -- Parental bonding begins at birth; mothers and fathers feel the same about their newborn infants.

Fact: "Many doctors and psychologists now understand that bonding doesn't begin at birth, but is a continuum of physiological, psychological, and spiritual events which begin in utero and continue throughout the postnatal bonding period. When this natural evolution is interrupted by a postnatal separation from the biological mother, the resultant experience of abandonment and loss is indelibly imprinted upon the unconscious minds of these children, causing that which I call the 'primal wound.'

Verrier, N. N. , (1993). The Primal Wound: Understanding the adopted child. Baltimore, MD: Gateway Press, Inc.


Also see: Prescott, J.W. (1996). The Origins of Human Love and Violence. Pre- and Perinatal Journal of Psychology. 10 (3):143-188; Prescott, J.W. (2001) "America's Lost Dream: Life, Liberty And the Pursuit of Happiness," The Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health 10th International Congress: Birth - The Genesis of Health; Raine, A., Brennan, P. and Mednick, S.A. (1994), "Birth complication combined with early maternal rejection at Age 1 year predispose to violent crime at age 18 years," Arch. Gen. Psych. V51:984-988; Salk,L., Lipsitt, L.P., Sturner, W.Q., Reilly, B.M. and Levate, R.HJ. (1985), "Relationship of maternal and perinatal conditions to eventual adolescent suicide, "The Lancet, March 15

Fact: Mothers have a lower threshhold of response to their infant's needs than fathers, that is, they are physiologically aroused to a greater degree by infant signals and cries, and also respond more readily; however, in instances of severe distress, the response reactions of mothers and fathers (and probably other adults in proximity) are similar.

See generally, Hrdy, Sara Blaffer. Mother Nature: A History of Mothers, Infants, and Natural Selection, 1999.


Fact: An experiment providing ultrasound imagery of their fetus over a period of two weeks to both mothers and fathers resulted in increases in mothers' but not fathers' antenatal attachment to the fetus.

Righetti, P.L., Avanzo, M.D., Grigio, M. & Nicolini. (2005). Maternal/paternal antenatal attachment and fourth-dimensional ultrasound technique: a preliminary report. British Journal of Psychology, 96, 129-139. http://bps-research-digest.blogspot.com/2005/02/born-already-attached.html

You can read more at the Liz Library.
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Certain fathers' groups are trying their hardest to make fathers important. I am beginning to wonder if this is maternal envy.

I mean, babies are conceived in an act that requires man and woman, however, this act takes place inside the woman, the embryo/fetus matures inside the woman's uterus, the baby is born from the woman's vagina, the infant is nurtured from the woman's breast, the infant recognizes its mother's smell, voice, and face and patterns that were detected in utero...where does this leave the man?

Children need their mommies. This is by design. Call it God. Call it evolution. Call it magic. It doesn't matter. We know this.

The APA knows it, read, Without a secure motherly attachment, children’s bodies activate a stress reaction. Science knows it, read Scientific Proof of the Benefits of Mother-Child Bonding.

Removing a child from his/her mother is child abuse, in its most natural, most simple state:

Maternal Deprivation Abuse

Maternal Deprivation, or Motherlessness, is occurring with alarming frequency due to the unethical treatment of women and children in family court. Maternal Deprivation is inflicting abuse by severing the mother-child bond. It is a form of abuse that men inflict on both the mother and children, especially men who claim they are “parentally alienated” from their children when there are complaints of abusive treatment by the father.

Maternal Deprivation occurs when men seek to keep their children from being raised by their mothers who are the children’s natural caretakers. Some men murder the mothers of their own children. Others seek to sever the maternal bonds by making false allegations of fictitious psychological syndromes in a deliberate effort to change custody and/or keep the child from having contact with their mother when there are legal proceedings. A twisted form of Maternal Deprivation is to kill the children, so that the mother will be left to suffer. Sometimes there are family annihilation murders where the father kills the children and himself (or dies by cop), but the mother is not killed because she has received protective orders and her children have not as in the case of Jessica Gonzales.
I think I now know the role of the father: to Protect the Mother-Child Relationship.



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