Hit Me and I'll Hit You Back, Harder: When Domestic Violence Just Ain't Equal

This is some crazy shit, courtesy of Behind the Blue Wall:

Last week, Kanawha County Prosecutor Mark Plants' office dropped domestic battery charges against a [6'5"] Charleston attorney accused of [bruising-up by] throwing his wife, who was eight months pregnant, against a wall and to the ground...

Charleston Gazette
By Andrew Clevenger
March 18, 2009

[Excerpts] CHARLESTON, W.Va. - Last week, Kanawha County Prosecutor Mark Plants' office dropped domestic battery charges against a Charleston attorney accused of throwing his wife, who was eight months pregnant, against a wall and to the ground. Charleston police arrested John Charles "Max" Wilkinson Jr., 40, at his home on Dec. 2 after a 911 call from his wife, Erica Pulling. According to the criminal complaint filed in Magistrate Court, police found bruising above her right wrist and bicep from where Wilkinson reportedly grabbed his wife, shoved her against the wall and pushed her down on her back... Plants insisted that Wilkinson's case received no special treatment. "What we did was completely ethical and totally by the book," he said. "This is a case just like any other. The evidence [was] not sufficient to proceed. ... All I have is the evidence.

Read more at the link provided.

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2 advocates for peace:

Anonymous Mar 30, 2009 4:39:00 PM  

Threw a pregnant wife up against a wall and down on her back ?

Damn, who ISN't that?
These posts make one think back.

She called 911 and charges were dropped, but she was one step ahead of me -- I didn't have 911 in the vocabulary then, and I made a mistake. I called a sister! Then I told a pastor and a doctor. Then employers. Then a counselor I went to as a result of some of the effects of the abuse. All of this in major urban areas. Of course my friends knew too.

One thing I learned: People can SAY words, but words are only indicators/signposts to some other reality. if the person has no concept of what that reality is, or an analogous reality, they don't "get" it.

Another thing is, if a person cannot act on the information they get (which is a good way to retain information, by the way. Trust me, I'm a musician, and my knowledge of "theory" didn't help me pass a single audition and get the job. It's for use in practice.

So, "my husband just attacked me" is not always in a person's normal vocabulary (even today), and what do they do with that information?

Typically, either nothing (because it does not compute), or refer her to someone that supposedly is going to help. (which may or may not help).

I am looking back now many years, and of course Monday night quarterbacking, I believe that if a single, tall, muscular male had approached my not-tall and not-muscular, and not even physically intimidating or impressive (male abusive "intimate partner" -- which is an oxymoron to start with), I really think the man (my ex) might have reconsidered his strategies.

You DO know, right, that abuse & physical violence IS a strategy, not generally a "mental illness." For mental illness (supposedly)-generated behavior, see links to "PAS" still circulating across the globe via conferences, associations, and internets that do not admit readily input from both sides of the fence on THAT one...

Who was groomed to not do what when, and where?
I had been mugged twice before in Chicago, but it was quickly over. Twice, my purse was stolen with no physical assault. I DNK if gun was in the 2nd time (felt something in my back). BOTH times I was on the way into a fellowship and reported I'd just been robbed. Neither time did anyone (including myself) thinking of calling the police, though both times I was very shook up.

Then again, if police are not going to prosecute once they ARE called, that could be a factor, but the problem is, in part, whole communities of individuals (family, faith, neighbors) not knowing the law, the justice system, or whatnot. In some cases.

OR, they may know it all too well, and realize the gender, ethnic, socioeconomic and other biases entailed in the system, or that it's overloaded, or that,. . . . or that . . . . or that . . . .

Say, a woman is pregnant. This means, keep your friggin' violent hands off her, dammit!

I was thrown up against the wall and down on the floor plenty (hands around neck more than once, or over mouth), I've had sensitive body parts attacked.

Please I want an answer. HOW DID THIS SOCIETY become so anesthetized to awful events? Stop blaming someone else.

In the meanwhile, I recommend mandatory self-defense training before granting of any marriage license anywhere (and perhaps we'd best go back to that cash flow cushion also somehow). If the message can get out there that women PER SE are some meanass SOBs just like men -- when their boundaries are violated - - - but otherwise, we can get along with you just fine - - - -

These are philosophical, spiritual, practical questions

(By the way, please provide link for this article)

I have one partial solution: We all need creative outlets; sex and violence are not to be the only energizing, adrenaline-addictive rushes available to men, or women. (Actually studies have been done showing that in some cases, blood pressure/pulse etc. can be calm during a crime of "passion." ) Detachment.

I was told in a group I attended prior to separation that among the professions batterers are drawn to are, oddly enough: law enforcement, doctor, attorney. This doesn't mean all of them. . . . But the system does validate it.

Just as another professions child molesters are drawn to is, obviously, where are lots & lots of children looking to you (only) as authority figure, and the administration backs you up when there is a conflict? Yup, TEACHING! Did I say boychoirs yet?

Nevertheless, teaching, law enforcement, and I suppose, attorneys, are necessary in this world. But I do think that a lot of individuals (Protective ones, I mean) should think seriously about farming out safety to the "experts."

Expertise is in the mind of the beholder -- and in whoever hires them. Most are for hire, I don't know that many that become experts for free.

Among the ones I know that DO do it for free, though, are women who lost their kids to batterers, known to the courts as batterers, and ignored by the courts as such, even while in the middle of committing some other crime (against the same children).

Hee-yah, what a world. No wonder people (including myself) look forward to a resurrection, at least most of the time. That's why I think 'coasting" in this one is not a viable option.

Oy veh and etc.

Note: The longish response to posts, consider it a resonator, like an echo chamber. Something is being heard. Women do this for each other. Abusers retaliate when you speak up, in part to shut up. Perhaps this is why they so often seem to go for the necks. it's the organ of speaking/breathing, which appear to be something of a threat, metaphorically and sometimes trying to stop it physically is the response.

Rj Apr 13, 2009 10:45:00 PM  

You DO know, right, that abuse & physical violence IS a strategy, not generally a "mental illness." GREAT point.

Pray the Devil Back to Hell



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