Sunday

I Almost Quit

About 1 week and a half ago, I almost stopped blogging. Just like that, I was going to throw in the towel. I have begun to wonder if talking about domestic violence, talking about rape, and talking about family court is inciting an untamable rage within me. I have a radar for evil...not propensity, I said radar...It is as if every piece of news I receive I can magnify and discover the underlying truth: that there is little good in the world. And this is not a pleasant state to live in.


Maybe 3 weeks ago, there was a pretty fair and balanced article about a judge in California, Peter J. McBrien, who makes some pretty shitty decisions concerning the custody of children in both men's and women's cases. The author of this article, R.V. Scheide, cast parental alienation syndrome in an unfavorable light. The article was immediately bombarded with comments from mostly men who were angry about the denouncement of PAS. But there were women, too. All had their classic statements of "PAS is real."

Well, lo and behold, about 2 wks later, R.V. Scheide put out a second article in which he apologized for criticizing the angry men's "syndrome." Wow. I just couldn't believe. Here is a person bold enough to stand their ground, now retracting their statement. I don't have a problem with those who revise their views in light of new information...but did he actually READ any research on PAS?

I know exactly what happened....same as what happened when the DART Bus ads came out...father's supremacy groups flooded him with e-mails. He became a target. R.V. Scheide became a hit on an assassin's list. It's not that parental alienation syndrome became any more real, or verified, it was that men (and perhaps some women) attacked his ass and gave him no air left with which to breathe:

Which is why every angry man in America (or at least those with pending child-custody cases) came unglued after my story with the offending adjectives was posted on the Web sites of several men’s rights groups. I was giving myself carpal-tunnel syndrome trying to keep up with their e-mail, before opting to write this column.
The father's supremacists have large pools of resources available to them, obviously, because they are men and have more power in this society. It's not that they wanted to correct the author's claim, or re-educated him, but more so they wanted to force their beliefs down his throat until they gained favor...more like dominion.
“Many credible scientists have studied the issue in detail and they agree on the causes and effects of this horrible syndrome,” he wrote. “Perhaps it’s existence doesn’t fit into your world view and that is why you deny it. Do you also deny the existence of the Holocaust? PAS is an American holocaust, a holocaust of fatherlessness for children.”
What credible scientists? PAS is not science. How could they agree on its causes and effects without doing a random sample with controls and variables? How the hell can anyone use the Holocaust as an example? The Holocaust resulted in massive deaths, the near extermination of a people, by other people in power. Where is the comparison? This should be an insult to Jewish people. (This is also a thinking error: unrealistic comparisons.)

And there goes that same old fatherlessness word. As if American society had a planned attack on eliminating fathers. No, sorry, men have done that on their own.
That’s not to say PAS isn’t worthy of scientific inquiry. As Dr. Arnold Robbins, a practicing psychiatrist from Cambridge, Mass., pointed out in an e-mail exchange, “There are many syndromes well recognized in psychiatry that are not included in the DSM, if that is what you are gloating about.”
EVERYTHING is a syndrome if you want to rely on the words of a psychiatrist. Anything that is contrary to what dominant male views in society wants you to be doing, is a syndrome. Since its inception, psychology (and science) has operated exclusively and thus should not be continued to be utilized in such a discriminatory manner: racist, sexist, and classist.
“I am a physician,” he wrote. “The issue for me is not what goes over in court. The issue is that PAS is tragic and painful. It should not be tolerated either when a man or a woman is the recipient. It is the worst sort of suffering and has horrible effects on the child.”
The issue isn't what goes over in court? Then why are psychologists participating in the court system like white on rice? Can you say Whores of the Court?

The "worst suffering" ???? The extremism exhibited in the PAS movement is a thinking error and tactic, perhaps: grandiosity/magnifying. It dually shifts the focus from real suffering that has yet to be eradicated: child sexual abuse and other physical violence. Why don't PAS proponents ever want to talk about those things?

Anyway, all of the above had led me to almost shut down www.randijames.com. If people keep backing down because of bullying, what am I to do? If people back down because of what this really is, domestic terrorism, who am I not to back down along with R.V. Scheide in order to self-preserve?

I am still here. I am still talking.



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5 advocates for peace:

Barbara Mar 1, 2009 5:48:00 PM  

It is terribly hard for all of us advocates because the media and public have such wrong ideas about pathological men - particularly psychopaths. They think they are all serial killers when they can not only kill minds, hearts & souls but effectively con the system.

Hang in there

Rj Mar 1, 2009 5:59:00 PM  

*sigh* Thanks and thanks for being a part...

Melissa Mar 1, 2009 6:32:00 PM  

Don't give up , EVER. If courageous people like you gave up there would be no women's rights.

As the commenter before me said , Hang in there.

Rj Mar 1, 2009 10:14:00 PM  

thank u. i will continue to draw on the strength of my ancestors.

KT Mar 1, 2009 11:25:00 PM  

Don't let the bad guys run you down. They have run every person away who dares to stand up to their sick ideas. The DV Coalition continuously have conceded to their demands. Look what has happened. Murders of women and children by men are rampant. It often seems hopeless than any victims of domestic violence or child abuse will get any protection. But we all need to keep fighting back. We need to stay strong and fight back against the Abuser's Lobby!!!



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