On Monica's Law

"ReadMyLips" has left a new comment on your post "Family of Montclair murder victim seeks legal protection for women in domestic violence cases":

I think the protocol should be a cooling off NO visitation period. I read the newspapers, too. Also, when children are involved, right aftger separation they are also emotionally vulnerable. Whoever gave the RO with kickout should be consistent in their message to the children.

Jack Straton, Ph.D., as published in NOMAS (Nat'l Org. in Men Against Sexism, ab. 1992) recommends this better than the alternative.

I do NOT agree with psychological testing for 2 reasons: A. It doesn't measure past criminal behavior or potential for future. Some criminal can pass with flying colors while the women/Moms they abused will fail. This is discussed in seminars teaching evaluators to screen for abuse.


B. the crowd of professionals making a living (if not whole careers) off OUR (yes I'm one), drama and distress -- and poverty following close after -- the whole premise is to psychologize abuse and thereby shift the focus off the crime and call it something else.

B2. This is going to (and does) "breed" more business because who (other than an abuser, already a manipulator) wouldn't be mentally challenged by witnessing some authority say that what happened to herself (pronoun intentional) or her children some mild, diversionary name. That'd fry all but the strongest "thinkers" -- psyches.

Instead, No means No. Make sure the RO was granted fairly, and then MEAN it -- disarm the batterer and reprove him strongly for it. And send the same messsage to any children around. "Your Dad is on "time out" for bad behavior." Most kids of kindergarten age or more could probably get the concept. . . .

Stop court-appointed, taxpayer-funded professionals from psychologizing crime, and profiting from the psychological consequences of it! THEY may say it's not really crime, but "high conflict." Well, I'm John Q (excuse me, "Joan Q") public and I disagree. I have irreconciliable differences with abuse. They are not about to get reconciled either, til the abuse is acknowledged, and stopped or I have a refuge in which I can work and live my life.

The process of psychologizing (made-up term) should be replaced with fact- and evidence-gathering, and case file readings in these cases. And interviewing other sources. There is only so much time available in any case, and what I've come to think is that Psych Labeling sometimes just is done by a lazy mind (as in mediator). Or, an expert psychologizer can be hired to do the same type of process. They are not the experts. The people who have experienced these things are! !! If the shoe fits (the law), then it should be worn. If it doesn't, makling a newer, different shoe, is not going to solve the problem (I'm talking about identified behavior that breaks existing laws).

ReadMyLips, I stand in agreement with what you said and in fact wrote something similar when I initially found out about the proposal for Monica's Law (see Monica's Law).

I liken your example to punishing a child for misbehavior--let's say, your teen has been talking on his cell phone late hours of the night and then having trouble getting up in the morning. You take the cell phone away until he is responsible enough to get up on time.

That may not have been the best example but the point is that something needs to deter people men from doing the bad things abusing their wives and children. And as we have a criminal justice system, there actually needs to be some justice for their victims. Obviously the problem is that family court is not the criminal system, nevertheless justice should be justice.

How do you expect a man to learn a lesson, stop the behavior, if he can get away with it and STILL have access to those that he hurt? What is his incentive to stop? None.

And psych evals are a floozy, we know this, too. Perhaps the family that is circulating the Monica's Law petition will take notice of what we are saying, if they hadn't considered this information before. The last thing we need is more psych professionals taking their best guess while they make millions and people still die...

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