Showing newest 18 of 108 posts from March 2009. Show older posts
Showing newest 18 of 108 posts from March 2009. Show older posts


Family Court Corruption and All of Its Players

(emphasis mine)

Family Court Corruption, Part 2: Fathers' Rights and Conciliation Court Law: Federally funded misogyny and pedophile protection by Cindy Ross © 2/19/03

...The National Fatherhood Initiative (NFI) was founded in 1994, to "lead a society-wide movement to confront the problem of father absence", i.e., to embed the fathers' rights agenda into government policies and programs. [21] In 1995, former President Clinton issued executive orders that directed federal agencies to review and "modify" all family programs and initiatives serving primarily mothers and children, to include fathers and "strengthen their involvement" with children. [22]

President George W. Bush, has appointed NFI founding officials to high level positions in the present Administration; Wade Horn is Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services and Don Eberly is in the White House Office of Faith Based Initiatives. Under the control of these and other fathers' rights allies -- especially former OCSE Commissioner David Gray Ross (a frequent presenter for CRC) -- the federal Department of Health and Human Services Office of Child Support Enforcement has been turned into a men's custody agency. While publicly touted as "responsible fatherhood programs" official federal documents say the purpose of their programs is to provide noncustodial fathers with free attorneys to litigate for custody. [4]

AFCC affiliated experts who have established federal "model custody" programs using PAS methodology, include Joan Kelly, a founding official of CRC, and Judith Wallerstein of the Center for the Family in Transition. Richard Gardner originally based his PAS theory on Wallerstein's and Kelly's research. [23]

Joan Kelly sets up family court services programs and trains judges and "special masters" (mediators with quasi-judicial authority), using Access to Visitation grant funding. She is also connected -- primarily through CRC -- to Michael Lamb, of the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. Kelly and Lamb promote materials developed by Richard Gardner (and other pedophiliac experts), in conferences and seminars regarding "parenting time" and "alienation". [8]

Judith Wallerstein, is an advisor to NFI. According to CA NOW's "Family Court Report 2002", in 1986, Wallerstein provided testimony -- along with David Levy of CRC -- to the House committee on Children, Youth and Families. regarding the "problems of single female parent families". [24]

Members of Wallerstein's Center for the Family in Transition and Kelly's Northern CA Mediation Center, have "reformulated" PAS as "alienated children", possibly to distance themselves from Richard Gardner. However, in addition to being connected to some of the most egregious local (Marin County, CA) PAS cases, as the "Northern CA Task Force on the Alienated Child", their group promotes PAS custody switching methods and "threat therapy" at AFCC conferences around the country and the world. [25]

Wallerstein, Horn, Eberly and others connected to NFI, CRC and AFCC have expanded the Conciliation Court agenda to include not only divorce prevention, but marriage promotion. By merging conciliation court and fathers' rights agendas with a "faith based" marriage "movement", they call for even more federal programs promoting "two-parent" families, through "marriage initiatives" funded by TANF/Welfare grants. [26]

In the guise of reducing poverty and promoting child welfare, women are forced to stay married and mothers are punished for seeking divorces. In the guise of amicable custody resolution, federal programs enforce the systematic abuse of women and children. The pretense is that government programs produce responsible fathers and healthy families. The reality is that federally funded misogyny and pedophile protection programs are lining the pockets of corrupted court officials and appointees.

For further information, visit the website of the National Alliance for Family Court Justice at">

Cindy Ross
California Director
National Alliance for Family Court Justice

BioDad vs Father Figure

Myth -- Children do better when their biological fathers are involved with them, rather than another kind of "father figure."

Fact: "In contrast with theoretical arguments suggesting that biological father involvement is better for children than social father involvement, the results from this analysis suggest that both are equally beneficial for the well-being of young children... [but] it is difficult to determine the direction of causality... rather than father involvement improving child well-being, fathers may simply prefer to be more involved with children who are already well-behaved and healthy."

Sharon H. Bzostek, Social Fathers and Child Well-Being, Journal of Marriage and Family, Volume 70, Issue 4 (p 950-961) (2008)

Fact: "Contrary to the additive hypothesis that adolescents would be best off when they enjoyed close ties to both stepfathers and nonresident fathers, results show that having a close tie to one's stepfather only is nearly as beneficial as having close ties to both fathers... Having close ties only to a nonresident father is not as beneficial as having close ties to both fathers in terms of externalizing and internalizing problems, although it is for avoiding failing grades. Of the five competing hypotheses considered, the evidence most strongly supports the primacy of residence hypothesis... [A]lthough it is certainly possible to have close bonds with two fathers, the majority of U.S. adolescents are not in this situation. Further, when adolescents have two fathers, they are more likely to be closer to their stepfathers than to their nonresident fathers... In terms of the adolescent outcomes examined, having a close tie only to a stepfather is nearly as beneficial as having close ties to both fathers... The advantages of a close tie only to the nonresident father are less apparent."

Valarie King (2006) The Antecedents and Consequences of Adolescents' Relationships With Stepfathers and Nonresident Fathers Journal of Marriage and Family 68 (4), 910-928.

Fact: "We expected that biological fathers would demonstrate higher quality parenting practices than social fathers. For the most part, however, we do not find this to be the case... Most notably, social fathers (overall) engage in higher levels of cooperation in parenting than biological fathers... findings provide little support for theoretical perspectives linking biology to father involvement."

Lawrence M. Berger, Marcia J. Carlson, Sharon H. Bzostek, Cynthia Osborne, Parenting Practices of Resident Fathers: The Role of Marital and Biological Ties, Journal of Marriage and Family Volume 70 Issue 3, Pages 625 - 639 (2008)

Fact: "[T]he various patterns of coresidence did not differ from the children in intact families on the outcome measures, suggesting that during the initial adjustment period after marital dissolution, the absence of a father-figure or the presence of biological-father-substitutes appear to have no influence on most children's intellectual or psychosocial functioning."

Christine Winquist Nord and Laura Spencer Loomis Westat, Inc., ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY: SELECTED CHILD SUPPORT ARTICLES citing Hawkins, Alan J. and David J. Eggebeen. 1991. "Are Fathers Fungible? Patterns of Coresident Adult Men in Maritally Disrupted Families and Young Children's Well-being." Journal of Marriage and the Family 53(4): 958-972.

Fact: "[S]tudy attempted to determine whether biological father presence made a difference in children's cognitive ability or behavioral adjustment and sought to find how many of the effects of father presence were explicable by referring to background or indirect effects such as economic provision... when maternal characteristics and family resources were controlled for, almost all of the impacts of father presence disappeared... almost all of the father's impact on the family is related to economic support."

Crockett, L. J., Eggebeen, D. J., & Hawkins, A. J. (1993). Father's presence and young children's behavioral and cognitive adjustment. Journal of Family Issues, 14 (3), 355-377.

Fact: "The data come from 2,531 children and their parents who were interviewed during the 1997 wave of the Child Development Supplement to the Panel Study of Income Dynamics. Biology explains less of father involvement than anticipated once differences between fathers are controlled. Marriage continues to differentiate paternal investment levels, as do age of child and financial responsibility to nonresidential children."

Sandra L. Hofferth, Kermyt G. Anderson (2003) Are All Dads Equal? Biology Versus Marriage as a Basis for Paternal Investment Journal of Marriage and Family 65 (1), 213-232.

Also see: Wendy D Manning, Pamela J Smock (2000) "Swapping" Families: Serial Parenting and Economic Support for Children Journal of Marriage and Family 62 (1), 111-122. ("...our findings indicate that fathers do swap families but only when the trade-off is between new biological children living inside fathers' households and existing biological children living outside fathers' households. Even though our analytic sample is small, our findings have important implications for child well-being, child-support policy, and the meaning of fatherhood.")

You can read more at the Liz Library.

Did you see that:
...almost all of the father's impact on the family is related to economic support...

Yes, it's the money. It's the money. Get it in your head. Accept it. I know it's hard and it may even hurt a little...

I Charge the State of Illinois with Criminal Negligence

Women who request restraining orders that are either denied, or not honored/taken seriously by the police/judges, should be able to seek compensation from the state if death results. Period.

And now, two more children are dead, along with their sorry-ass excuse for a father. The mother warned EVERYBODY! But these days, people are too concerned with joint custody, and parental alienation, all under the guise of parental father's rights.

Who will protect the victims?

What is a father's right?...the right to murder?

In this second link, please take notice of the NCMEC photographs. The news has reported that authorities would not issue an Amber Alert the day the mother reported her children missing. More interesting, I have been informed that NCMEC doesn't quite take mothers seriously--that is, mothers who accuse their former husbands/children's fathers of being the perp.


From the article:

(emphasis mine)
"She was contacted by the Leroy police and told that she had to send them, that it was an arrestable offense (if she did not)," Ogar said.

She said she told Leichtenberg that failure to give the boys to their father was a civil matter, not criminal, and advised her not to turn them over if she didn't want to.
We have many moms across the U.S. who are threatened will jail time (or ordered actual jail time) if they do not FORCE their children to go on their unsupervised visits. Punish the mothers for the behavior of the children. Punish the mothers for being rightfully afraid. Punish the mothers for having intuition.

You all have killed the children.


(emphasis mine)

5:14 AM Donna wrote ...
"The system failed. I know of a child that has recently come forward to talk to cac, crimes against children in blmgtn but I guess cac has been on vacation all week. Guess they only have one person that does this. I ask you, does this make sense. A couple years ago I called missing and exploited children and reached an answering machine that said they were on vacation and to call back later. What a Shame"
From the same article reference above:
"He's (Michael Connolly) about punishing me, and he knows the worst thing to do to me is to lose those boys and I don't know what he's capable of," Amy Leitchenberg said on March 10th.
All its EVER about is punishing the mom. Payback. These fathers don't give a shit about their children.

Too bad they stopped Fred Flannigan's show.


Belize Survivor, part 42

When Alexis arrived in Key West, the sun indeed helped to warm her, both heart and soul. She rented a tiny cottage on Grinnell Street, and soon found herself walking familiar beaches, visiting old haunts, and seeking the nostalgic scent of night-blooming jasmine. Having returned to the island, just as Indian Ron had said she would, Alexis passed by the marina, and the sound of slapping halyards brought back a heartache named Paul. She wondered what had ever happened to the sailboat. Like its name, Déjà Vu was a wound that had never completely healed.

Everywhere she went she asked about Indian Ron, but no one seemed to know where he was. Someone said he'd bought a house on Petronia Lane, just southwest of the old cemetery, but hadn't been seen on the island for months. More than anyone, she wanted to see Ron. She needed his insight and hoped to find comfort in his presence and his wisdom.

Her other wound was perhaps one of those that time should not heal. But nevertheless, over the weeks, the bad memories associated with Max began to fade. Alexis began to see more clearly, or so she thought. Was it truly clarity, or was it loneliness? She didn’t know, but Max was still her husband after all. Maybe the relationship deserved another chance. Eventually, the pain subsided, and the remembrance of the good times overpowered the bitterness.

"Ntombi eyami!” Max cried when he picked up the phone. “Oh Alexis, I've missed you so much! I've been such an idiot. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Hi," she said quietly. "I will ask you only one question. Do you still want to be with me?"

"You asked me that once before in California. I'll say now what I said then," he replied. "With all my heart."

"Then come to Florida. I’m willing to try again."

They set up housekeeping together in the little Grinnell Street cottage which was really one of four identical dwellings situated within a picturesque courtyard among the rubber banyan trees in the heart of Old Town. And it was like old times, indeed. Max was not only conciliatory, he was wonderful. He treated her like a queen, and Alexis was sure she had made the right decision. One day, late in the afternoon, as they sat together on the front porch swing, Alexis decided to tell Max about some ideas she’d had. "Wouldn't it be great if we could get a band together down here so we could play music? Like at Bonny Doon? I mean – one way or the other we've got to make some money soon. Why not something we really enjoy?"

"You're right about that," Max said agreeably. "Those guys, two doors down, are musicians. I think one plays bass and the other plays lead. Getting a group together is a great idea."

"I was also thinking how I used to make different kinds of handicrafts when I lived here before. We could buy some twine or jute. I could make some plant hangers, or macramé chokers, or maybe even weave a hammock. We could look into a vendor's permit like I had in Berkeley, or even rent a little shop."

"I like it." He nodded approvingly. "Ok, let's keep an eye out for some possibilities."

Sunset at Mallory Pier was still a ritual, as it had been and would continue to be for decades to come. The young couple attended the celebration of sun and sea almost every night. Alexis still used her cane occasionally and walked with a slight limp, but the warm weather was helping her heal at a faster pace. Max had bought bicycles for both of them, the perfect transportation for the island, and as they rode home that night after sunset, the sky became a lustrous backdrop of purple, slashed with brilliant fuchsia. A soft balmy breeze began to blow, and the velvety palpable darkness started its descent over the island. Pulling up to the little gate at the white picket fence, Max was quick to jump off first and open it for her. As she dismounted and wheeled her bike past him, she paused. He was looking down at the ground pensively, but then purposefully raised his eyes to meet hers, her face filling his vision. His sincerity was unquestionable. With a marked tenderness, he said, "I love you, Alexis."

Keeping an eye out for an available shop space became a priority. If they were going to make the investment, Alexis was determined to find an extraordinarily worthwhile location, right in the heart of things. As a result, she made sure to check the ultra-touristy section of Old Town on a regular basis – Front Street near the Conch Train Depot and the two northernmost blocks of Duval Street between Green and Caroline. There was also a fruit vendor tucked away on Tift’s Aly. He made the best coconut-banana smoothies ever, so she usually stopped there when making her rounds. She saw the vaguely familiar form, the black crinkly hair and nut-brown skin.

I Really Wish You Would Fuck Off

My favorite Canadian stalker has stopped by, yet again. My blog must be getting more erotic.

Michael J. Murphy has left a new comment on your post "Family Court Corruption Sponsored by the Government":

It would appear you will allow any kind of posting to this site whether it has any semblance of truth or not.
How would you know? Are you not aware that I KNOW how many posts you have read on my site, and that would be less than 3.
This monumentally ideologically contrived message is not worthy of publication.
Aren't most musings published by father's supremacy groups "ideologically contrived"? What makes them any more worthy of publication? Because they have a PhD behind their names? Because they are lawyer-psychologists? Because they work for the U.S. gubment?
Cindy Ross, California Director
National Alliance for Family Court Justice should be ashamed of herself for attaching her name to this deceit.
Do you know the NAFCJ?
You do your cause no favours by dissemination of unverifiable smears like this.
What cause are you referring to? How is this information "unverifiable? Proves what an idiot you are. I have actually done some of the research AND seen the actual paperwork. There is no secret on the history of these organizations, that's why the people who actually WROTE this piece, have links on their website. Then again, how the fuck would you know, you're in Canada?
It is nothing more than a drive-by illogical, unfounded mutterings by a person who may not have all of her faculties available to enunciate reasoned discourse.
Right, a crazy-woman. Same ol shit, different day. This is really getting boring.
Its too bad for you and others of your persuasion because those of us who know better will use it in other forums as typical of the paranoid mutterings of fringe gender feminists.
My persuasion? LMAO. I could really give a flying fuck where you use this information. THAT'S WHY IT'S POSTED ON THE WEB! All I did was re-post it.
Keep up the good work as it will undoubtedly favour more reasonable people in both the court of law and the court of public opinion. All I have to do is provide the links to people who can see for themselves without me having to write any rebuttals.
So, keep doing it on your own blog, because you're wasting your time on mine. I don't know who you usually trash, but you got the wrong muthafucker here. Peace!

Oh no, wait, wait, there's more!

Michael J. Murphy has left a new comment on your post "Family Court Corruption Sponsored by the Government":

Whats up. You too afraid to post counter arguments against your positions. It doesn't help your credibility to ignore - it just reinforces the notion you have no basis for all this drivel written and all the time wasted in cutting it out of other blogs and non-scientific sources - like newspapers.

What is your point Cold North Wind - would you rather ca-habit with a wolf than a man?

Did you not know that other mammals can't reason like humans? Do you know anything at all about wolves. Did you not know they are headed by dominant males. Where did you find the nonsense that a male wolf is starved out. Give me a break. Do your research. Perhaps the content of some of these gender feminist blogs is extracted from Simeon's as that is the level of intelligence involved.
Ah, whatever! I think father's supremacists have alerts out and when certain stuff is posted that reveals too much of the truth, they flood the website--kinda like they did the DART d.v. ads in Texas. I'm really past the point in my life where I am affected by bullies. These games are for children...Ahhh...children! This is reminiscent of how they treat their children. Priceless!

Family Court Corruption Sponsored by the Government

(emphasis mine)

Family Court Corruption, Part 2: Fathers' Rights and Conciliation Court Law: Federally funded misogyny and pedophile protection by Cindy Ross © 2/19/03

Numerous reports have identified bias against women and corruption in family courts across the country. In bizarre and illegal rulings, family court judges ignore or deliberately suppress evidence of male perpetrated family violence and child molest. Fathers who are batterers and sex offenders are routinely granted visitation and custody, while mothers and children trying to escape abuse are punished through financial sanctions, loss of custody, supervised visitation, jail and institutionalization. [1]

Very occasionally, men reporting abuse of their children have also been targeted for retaliation through family court. [2] However, the systematic mishandling of domestic violence and child molest cases as "custody disputes" is based in a financial corruption scheme that calls for diverting grant program funding through "high conflict" cases, in the guise of promoting "fatherhood" and "shared parenting" post-divorce. [3]

Rather than assisting men become responsible parents, "Responsible Fatherhood", "Access to Visitation Enforcement" (supervised visitation for noncustodial parents), "Child Support Enforcement" and similar federal programs perpetuate abuse of women and children through the legal system. [4] Abusive men striving to maintain control over their victims are provided an array of benefits, not only to get custody and get out of paying child support, but to terrorize the mothers of their children and society in general. [5] Government programs are not producing responsible fathers, but motherless children, in order to advance the agenda of the so-called "fathers' rights" movement.

"Fathers' rights" as a political agenda, has nothing to do with actual parenting rights or responsibilities. Fathers' rights organizations are misogynist anarchy and militia groups that define fatherhood in terms of male ownership of children in male-headed households. In order to maintain control over "families", fathers' groups promote violence, advocating the use of "domestic discipline". [6] Their membership is comprised of virulent men "fighting feminism" and affirmative action, establishing "patriarchy under God" and even trying to repeal the 19th Amendment. [7]

There are women affiliated with fatherhood groups, primarily second wives who support their husbands in denying ex-wives and biological mothers the right to parent their own children. Identifying themselves as "independent feminists", they also join sociopathic men in fighting obscenity laws and identifying sex and access to pornography as primary fathers' "rights". [8]

Fathers' rights groups have devised strategies that normalize deviant male behavior, while pathologizing normal motherhood. When mothers report domestic violence or child sexual abuse, their complaints are dismissed as a matter of "radical feminists" making malicious and false allegations to turn children against fathers. "False allegations" is the primary tactic used to provide assistance with litigation against women trying to maintain custody of their children in divorces from abusive men. [9]

Criminalizing mothers' attempts to protect their children, legalizing corporal punishment and normalizing father-child sex, are all necessary in order to legitimize court rulings granting pedophiles, batterers and other abusive men visitation rights and custody of children. In family court, this is accomplished through the "Parental Alienation Syndrome" (PAS) legal strategy. [10]

PAS is a fabricated mental disorder, originally coined by Dr. Richard Gardner as a legal defense of child molesters. PAS calls for covering up evidence of abuse by shifting blame to mothers. PAS was crafted into the means for any man to get custody -- no matter how violent or unfit -- through the "umbrella" fathers' rights organization, the Children's Rights Council (CRC, formerly called National Council for Children's Rights). [11] CRC is cross-affiliated with the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC). [12]

While CRC claims to promote "shared parenting" and AFCC represents itself as "an association of family, court and community professionals" dedicated to the "constructive resolution of family disputes", these groups conceal their role in a perverse fathers' rights pedophile "ring" operating through family court. Richard Gardner is only one of numerous "experts" connected to CRC/AFCC, who not only promote pedophilia, but seek to destroy children's relationships with their mothers in the name of fatherhood. [13]

Steering cases to AFCC court allies, CRC (and other fathers' group) members get their cases "fixed" using PAS methodology. CRC devised custody switching programs are used to procure federal Access to Visitation Enforcement Program grants for supervised visitation and "Child Access Transfer Centers". [14] Through these centers, evidence of sexual (and physical) abuse is suppressed and mothers are prevented from having normal contact with their children. Mothers are forced to stop complaining about "sharing" the children, or to give up their children altogether, losing all parental rights.

AFCC was originally established in California as the means to enact Conciliation Court Law (CA Family Codes 1800-1852), an obscure set of codes used to prevent divorce in counties where the court itself deems it necessary to "promote the public welfare by preserving, promoting, and protecting family life and the institution of matrimony". [15] While the Conciliation Court identifies children's rights to "both parents", it is used only to assist fathers take custody away from mothers and/or to otherwise gain inappropriate or illegal "access" to children.

Enacting Conciliation Court Law gives the family court jurisdiction over domestic violence cases, in violation of appropriate family codes and "child's best interests" laws. For example, in California, while Family Code §3044 establishes a presumption that sole or joint custody for a parent convicted of domestic violence is not in the best interests of children, Conciliation Court codes are used not only to assist abusive men get custody, but to help them avoid criminal prosecution. [16] Because blame is shifted to mothers by concealing evidence of paternal crimes against women and children, in the Conciliation Court, victims of abuse (not perpetrators) get convicted in accordance with PAS "threat therapy". [17]

PAS court-ordered threats include jail terms for mothers and institutionalization of children to convince them that the abuse never occurred, but their mothers are crazy. [18] PAS threats have been linked to the death of at least one child. When forced to "choose" between visiting his violent father in a positive frame of mind, or having his mother jailed for his refusal, Nathan Grieco chose suicide instead. [19]

The Conciliation Court uses PAS methodology to give abusive men the legal upper hand. However, "shared parenting" has become the rallying cry of the fathers' rights movement, primarily because joint custody also means no child support obligations. When AFCC affiliates assist fathers get custody and get out of paying child support, they instigate frivolous litigation for their own financial gain. They take kickbacks and other improper payments to rig the outcomes of the cases.

Judicial slush funds, such as the "hearts and flowers" fund exposed in Los Angeles Superior Court, are established using fees charged for child custody "training" seminars. [20] Because Conciliation Court codes specify how funding is dispersed to the court itself, huge sums of money are diverted out of federal and state block grants by AFCC affiliates, in the guise of "amicable settlement of domestic and family controversies". [15] (See Codes 1800-1852)...

For further information, visit the website of the National Alliance for Family Court Justice at">

Cindy Ross
California Director
National Alliance for Family Court Justice

An Abuser's Tactic: How One Father Used A Child Custody Dispute to Discredit Sexual Abuse

This is some calculated shit.

1. How and why did you select your victim?

I am incarcerated because I molested my 11 year old nephew and also my 3 year old son. I selected my victims by availability, and I also knew that I had the victims’ trust and that the victims would be less likely to tell someone that I molested them. I also selected my nephew and son because of access, and my distorted thinking that they would not tell on a relative. I also thought that if they would say something to me about my molesting them I would be able to put some guilt in their minds so they would not tell. I could do this easier with my victims than with strangers. Also, in my distorted thinking, I thought that if they said anything about my touching them inappropriately I could make them think that it was OK for family to touch in such ways, ways that are inappropriate.

2. What did you do to try to keep your victim from reporting the crime?

With my nephew, I molested him while I thought he was asleep, so I never had to say anything
verbally to him. I used his being asleep to keep him from reporting the crime. I later found out
that he was not asleep, but I did not know this until he had told someone about the molestation.

To keep my son from telling anyone, I used the excuse that while I was bathing him I had to
wash his genitals, but he still said something in front of me and my ex-wife. He was rubbing his
genitals and his mother asked him what he was doing. He told her in front of me that “Dad
does it!” meaning that I fondled his genitals. I jumped into the conversation by telling him that
he had better stop saying things that could get me in trouble. I also told him to stop lying. I did
this in a very aggressive and threatening way toward my son. I used my size and position as his
father to scare him into being quiet. Also, the night that I digitally penetrated his anus, he woke
up and started crying and told me to stop. I told him it was just a bad dream and to go back to
sleep. That way, he would not say anything the next day, I thought. I hoped that he would
think he was dreaming.

3. How did you set up your crime to make your victims seem non-credible if they reported the crime?

With my son, I tried to set up the crime to happen while he was bathing. This would give me an excuse to touch his genitals, and if he said anything I could always say I was just bathing him.

4. Did you ever use a child custody dispute to make a report of your crime seem non-credible?

I tried to say that my ex-wife was making this crime up so that she could get custody of my son. I always said that she knew I would get custody of our son, so she had to make me look bad.

5. What did you do when your crime was reported to convince people you did not commit the crime and/or make people believe the victim was lying?

I recruited people by trying to put down and discount my ex-wife’s credibility. I would bring up all her faults and negatives to try to get people to think she was lying. I did not try to convince people that my son or nephew were lying. I tried to say that they were only saying what my ex-wife made them say. I would put all the blame on my ex-wife, saying that she would do anything to me to keep me from getting my son, even if it meant lying about me molesting my own son.

6. If you victimized a child in your home, what did you do to prevent the child from telling other family members? Did you help create bad feelings between the victim and other family members?

I would try to make the molestation seem as if it were a normal thing. I would molest my son while he was in the bathtub. Also, I molested my son and nephew while they were sleeping, hoping that they would not know that I was fondling them. When it did get brought out by my son that I had been touching his genitals, I scolded him and told him to stop lying and not to say bad things that would get me in trouble.

No, I never created bad feelings between my victims and the family. I tried with my ex-wife, though.

7. How have you manipulated law enforcement/authorities to make them feel your problems and crime were not that serious?

I tried to put all the blame on my ex-wife. I told the authorities that she had made up these charges because she wanted to make sure she got custody of our son. I also tried to make it sound as if all I was really doing was bathing my son.

8. How have your manipulated sex offender therapists to convince them you have changed, or that your problems and crimes are not that serious?

No. I have not minimized my crime.

9. How have you manipulated probation or parole officers to convince them that you have changed, or that your problems and crimes are not that serious?


10. How have you manipulated family members or relatives to convince them you have changed, or your problems and crimes are not that serious? Describe any techniques you used to manipulate family members to give you access to victims or potential victims that you then victimized?

With my son, it was easy to set up the crime. With my nephew, I asked him and his parents if he could stay the night. I then used this to molest him while he was sleeping.

11. Would you be willing to be interviewed on video tape about any of these issues?


12. How have you manipulated law enforcement/authorities to make them feel your problems and crime were not that serious?

I told them that my victim was my first victim. I also blamed my alcoholism for the behaviors of my sexual assault on my victim.

13. How have your manipulated sex offender therapists to convince them you have changed, or that your problems and crimes are not that serious?

I’ve never given myself the chance to change until now because I justified my actions as only being verbal*, not stopping to realize I’d already sexually assaulted my victim by fantasizing the sexual acts I wanted to perform on her and her on me.

14. How have you manipulated probation or parole officers to convince them that you have changed, or that your problems and crimes are not that serious?

I kept telling my probation officer (94-98) that I was really getting a lot out of therapy about myself. I also kept drinking heavily at this time, and she never had a clue.

15. How have you manipulated family members or relatives to convince them you have changed, or your problems and crimes are not that serious? Describe any techniques you used to manipulate family members to give you access to victims or potential victims that you then victimized?

By working hard, long hours, and steady, and staying to myself, not going anywhere, staying home. I also told them I only used verbal sexual words on my victim and that I didn’t touch her and didn’t want to touch her.

16. Would you be willing to be interviewed on video tape about any of these issues?

I’d be willing to be interviewed on video tape about any of these issues.

C This offender woke the victim out of a sound sleep, asked her to participate in oral sex and asked her about other girls who might have sex with him. He then threatened “to get her” if she told anyone.

You can read more here

Now think of what psychological tools could/would/did aid this abuser: false memory syndrome, false rape allegations, parental alienation syndrome...

NDAA on Parental Alienation

(emphasis mine)

Parental Alienation Syndrome: What Professionals Need to Know
Part 1 of 2

By Erika Rivera Ragland & Hope Fields


The late Dr. Richard Gardner, a clinical professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University, coined Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) in 1985, after noticing a “disorder” among patients within his private practice. The “disorder” involves one parent alienating the child against the other parent typically in the context of a child-custody dispute. Dr. Gardner defined PAS as follows:
[t]he parental alienation syndrome is a childhood disorder that arises almost exclusively in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the target parent. When true parental abuse and/or neglect is present, the child’s animosity may be justified and so the parental alienation syndrome explanation for the child’s hostility is not applicable.
Absent from this definition is specific reference to sexual abuse allegations, but these are often the “denigration” to which Dr. Gardner referred in his definition. In this context, PAS becomes a litigation tool for the accused parent to discredit the validity of the child’s sex abuse allegations by mounting an attack against the “inducing parent.”

Although PAS may be hailed as a “syndrome” (a group of symptoms that occur together and constitute a recognizable abnormality), in fact it is the product of anecdotal evidence gathered from Dr. Gardner’s own practice. The purpose of this article is to briefly discuss the major premises upon which PAS is based, and to identify key weaknesses. Part 2 of this Update considers case law and strategies for meeting PAS defenses.

PAS is based primarily upon two notions, neither of which has a foundation in empirical research.

1. PAS Presupposes a High Rate of False Accusations in Custody Cases

The theory of PAS is based in part on the notion that, within custody disputes, there is a high incidence of false abuse allegations. Dr. Gardner theorized that allegations arising within the context of a custody dispute have a “high likelihood of being false,”5 and went so far as to state that he believed “the vast majority of allegations in this category [divorce cases with custody disputes] are false.” To the contrary, the available research suggests that false allegation rates are not significantly high. For example, a 1990 study by Thoennes and Tjaden evaluated 9,000 divorces in 12 states and found that sexual abuse allegations were made in less than 2 percent of the contested divorces involving child custody. Within this group, it appears false allegations occurred in approximately 5% to 8% of cases. This study is one of the most comprehensive and least subject to bias and sampling problems, since its sample is so large and representative of the population of those divorcing with custody and visitation disputes.

2. PAS Presumes a Disadvantage to Women in Child Custody Determinations

Another underlying principle of PAS is that women more often than men resort to making false allegations of abuse in disputed custody proceedings. The theory is that mothers encourage false accusations in order to obtain financial or strategic advantage during custody determinations. The reasoning behind this theory seems to be that, in most jurisdictions, custody determination standards have changed from the “tender years” presumption—a standard which favored women obtaining custody of young children—to the “best interests of the child.”

This hypothesis ignores the fact that most sex offenders are indeed men. It also fails to account for the possibility that the divorce process might liberate an abused child from the heavy burden associated with keeping a secret like sexual abuse, or that post-divorce living conditions or circumstances might render a child vulnerable to sexual abuse.

Although the tender year’s presumption which favored women is largely gone, women are not disadvantaged under the new standard. The “best interests” standard removes gender presumptions altogether from custody determinations. It should be noted that some legal scholars suspect a gender bias within PAS theory itself.

Other Weaknesses: Lack of Peer Review and Recognition by DSM-IV

Dr. Gardner mostly self-published and thus did not generally subject his theory to the peer review process. Moreover, PAS is not recognized by any professional associations, including the American Psychiatric Association. PAS is also not included within the DSM-IV.

It is also worth noting that Dr. Gardner often expressed disdain for child abuse professionals, labeling them “validators,” theorizing that greed and desire for increased business prompted some sexual abuse allegations, and speculating that parents and professionals alike made some false allegations because “all of us have some pedophilia within us.”


At best, PAS is a nondiagnostic “syndrome” that only explains the behavior of the child and the mother when there is a known false allegation. It is a courtroom diagnosis befitting adversaries involved in legal sparring. It is not capable of lending itself to hard data or inclusion in the forthcoming DSM-V.

In short, PAS is an untested theory that, unchallenged, can have far-reaching consequences for children seeking protection and legal vindication in courts of law.

Prosecutors and other child abuse professionals should educate themselves, their colleagues and clients when confronting PAS in the legal realm. Part 2 of this newsletter will address the case law on this subject. For more in-depth and comprehensive treatment of these issues, contact the National Center for Prosecution of Child Abuse.

Joint Custody and Parental Cooperation

Myth -- Joint custody forces parents to learn to cooperate.

Fact: "In a large California study, Maccoby and Mnookin (1992) found that joint custody is sometimes used to resolve custody disputes. They found that joint custody was awarded in about one-third of cases in which mothers and fathers had each sought sole custody. And the more legal conflict that occurred between parents, the more likely joint custody was to be awarded. Three and one-half years after separation, these couples were experiencing considerably more conflict and less co-operative parenting than were couples for whom joint custody was the first choice of each parent."

Amato, Paul R., Contact With Non-custodial Fathers and Children's Wellbeing, "Family Matters", No. 36, Dec, pp. 32-34, Australian Institute of Family Studies, Melbourne, Australia

[liznote: and it wasn't any bed of roses for the parents who freely chose it, either.]

Fact: "Abusive men typically attempt to continue controlling their ex-partners after separation and often use their children as pawns to maintain that power and control."

Jane Vock, Petra Elliot and Valeria Sprionello, "From Child Witnesses to Pawns: Post Separation Tactics of Abusive Ex-Partners," June 1997.

You can read more at the Liz Library.

What's really with the idea of forced shared parenting? Why on earth would anyone believe that two people who couldn't otherwise get along will NOW get along because it is court ordered? Oh yeah, because there are legal consequences! So, all of this "less government, less government!" hype is just that....hype...because the drivel goes to show that father's supremacists want government-regulated families.

I mean, it works for criminals, right? You rape someone, there is a punishment and you go to jail, and/or pay a fine. And then you never rape again ever in life, right?

So let's force shared parenting, if one party cannot agree, let's throw them in jail for contempt until they acquiesce.

But what about the child, you say? How will the child be affected by this nonsense? Good damn question.


Military Victims of Violence

I would like to introduce another Advocate at You know how it pleases me to out people in "power." (like police officers)

But more than that, I believe I began this blog speaking about the military because of my personal experience with them revictimizing me. The military is known for covering up things and sweeping stuff under the rug and I know this first hand. I wonder how many victims get any justice.

Many times, you report a crime and the notice just goes into the enlisted member's file. At worst, the member gets a Letter of Reprimand (LOR). The military protects its own.

I couldn't even get a damn restraining order. I went all the way to top level at one particular base...even the wing commander never responded to me. I faxed, I mailed. I guess I should've just taken it to the news.

Nevertheless, enjoy the site!! And welcome, website owner.

Also, read the book Friendly Fire listed in my recommended books section.

Father Absence Harms Children?

Myth -- Research on single mother households proves that "fatherlessness" harms children.

Fact: "The relative well-being of children in bereaved families and the poorer outcomes identified among children in step-families suggest that the absence of a parent figure is not the most influential feature of separation for children's development."

Rodgers, Bryan and Jan Pryor. Divorce and separation: the outcomes for children, Joseph Rowntree Foundation (ISBN 1 85935 043 7 (June 1998).

Fact: "[F]ather absence does not significantly influence the level of well-being of either daughters or sons. Rather... children's perceptions of their relationships with both parents have a more direct influence on their psychological well-being than does the physical presence or absence of their father."

Wenk, D., Hardesty, C. L., Morgan, C. S., & Blair, S. L. (1994). The influence of parental involvement on the well-being of sons and daughters. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 56 (1), 229-234.

Fact: "T]here is little evidence to support the hypothesis that nonresident father involvement has positive benefits for children."

King, V. (1994). Variation in the consequences of nonresident father involvement for children's well-being. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 56(4), 963-972.

Fact: "Using data from subsets ranging in size from 777 to 1,501 children from the child supplement to the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth (NLSY), a series of multivariate regression models were tested to determine whether the effects of nonresident father involvement on child well-being vary by race, mother's education, or whether the child was born within or outside of marriage. The results show few interactive effects, and no identifiable set of conditions emerged that increased or reduced the importance of father involvement for child well-being."

King, Valarie, Carolina Population Center, CB# 8120, University Square, University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, NC 27516-3997 (U.S.A.)

Fact: "Meta-analysis supports the notion that the impact of father absence appears to be mediated by family conflict; father absence in itself may not affect children's well-being. The family conflict perspective was strongly confirmed by the data. This perspective holds that children in intact families with high levels of conflict should have the same well-being problems as children of divorce, and the data supported this hypothesis."

Amato, P. R., & Keith, B. (1991). Parental divorce and the well-being of children: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 110, 26-46.

Fact: Serious design errors and methodological problems make many studies ostensibly showing harm from father absence inconclusive, e.g. the impact of family-related variables (number of children, sex of parent, cause of parental absence, etc.)

Blechman, E. A. (1982). Are children with one parent at psychological risk? A methodological review. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 44, 179-195.

Fact: "A growing body of scientific literature demonstrates that children who grow up with 1 or 2 gay and/or lesbian parents fare as well in emotional, cognitive, social, and sexual functioning as do children whose parents are heterosexual. Children's optimal development seems to be influenced more by the nature of the relationships and interactions within the family unit than by the particular structural form it takes."

Technical Report: Coparent or Second-Parent Adoption by Same-Sex Parents AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS Ellen C. Perrin, MD, and the Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health

Fact: "Literature reviewed in this report overwhelmingly supported the notion that father absence has a detrimental effect on children. However, the results of this study did not support the conclusions..."

Grant, T. M. (1988). Impact of father absence on psychopathology of military dependent children.Doctoral thesis, Air Force Institute of Technology, Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, OH. ADA208606. (Father absence was not found to be related to the childhood pathology of military dependent children. Father absence was not found to be related to the severity of diagnosed childhood pathology.

Also see: Applewhite, L. W., & Mays, R. A., Jr. (1996). Parent-child separation: A comparison of maternally and paternally separated children in military families. Child & Adolescent Social Work Journal, 13, 23-39. (However, children of active-duty mothers had more problems with peer-relationships, handling learning demands, expressing feelings and poorer indicators of physical health than children of active-duty fathers.)

Also see: Jensen, P. S., Grogan, D., Xenakis, S. N., & Bain, M. W. (1989). Father absence: Effects on child and maternal psychopathology. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 28, 171-175. (Once maternal symptoms and stress levels were controlled, no significant effects of father absence were noted.)

Also see: Nice, D. S. (1978). The androgynous wife and the military child. In E.J. Hunter & D.S. Nice (Eds.), Children of military families: A part and yet apart (pp. 25-37). Washington, DC: Superintendent of Documents, U.S. Government Printing Office. (Children manifested significant gains in their overall personality adjustment during the period of father absence, lending support to the growing amount of evidence suggesting that father absence may be associated with some positive effects.)

Pierce, P. F., Vinokur, A. D., & Buck, C. L. (1998). Effects of war-induced maternal separation on children's adjustment during the gulf war and two years later. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 28, 1286-1311.

You can read more at the Liz Library

No matter which way you slice the pie, fatherlessness is not that serious: evidenced by widowed households, gay families, and military families. You can't just take the research and squeeze to fit your agenda. You can't just eliminate whole populations of groups of people/families, just because the conclusion won't fit your propaganda.


The Parental Alienation Tactic: Punishing Parents, Punishing Children

There is a large flock of parental alienation syndrome cult members that have temporarily migrated to Canada for their symposium (CSPAS). Many of these members have dubious, even criminal, backgrounds. Some of these members are unlicensed, some have been disciplined for ethical violations, and some are currently under investigation. Many of them purport to be the leaders (as in ring-leaders) in their field--a field in which their "research" cites their own "research" and/or the "research" of their comrades. Most of this "research" is based on the self-published theories of the cult leader, Richard A. Gardner. And this "research" evolves whichever way the politico-legal wind blows, whichever way the money flows.

Parental alienation syndrome "experts" claim that one parent is brainwashing the child against the other if all children are so impressionable that they have no independent thought. They frame it as the worse form of child abuse imaginable.

I don't know about you, but I think sex with children is much worse. And it was child sex abuse allegations that spurred the creation of this parental alienation syndrome, by Dr. Richard Gardner.

Dr. Gardner simultaneously viewed most child abuse reports as fictitious, and as real. He was a member of the False Memory Syndrome Society and created a Sexual Abuse Legitimacy Scale that was ridiculed by the science community. Additionally, he held non-traditional, borderline pro-pedophilia views on sex with children (see Richard A. Gardner: In His Own Words).

Coincidentally, similar views have been espoused by other parental alienation theorists such as Warren Farrell and Ralph Underwager (both men have held major positions in fathers’ organizations funded by the U.S. government). And yet supporters are constantly denying the implications and attempting to leave this history behind.

Why should we separate the origin of a theory from the theory itself? Wouldn’t we, as scientists and as consumers, be ignorant in doing so?

Dr. Gardner specified that if genuine abuse is present, parental alienation claims are invalidated. However, how can domestic and sexual violence be detected if the parental alienation players do not have dual expertise in family violence ?

Parental alienation "experts" are not called into the case as neutral experts to assess violence, they are called by one party in the case to testify in their favor--against the other parent. This is what a hired-gun is. Even "normal" child custody evaluators, appointed by the court, are suspect. They are known to come in with preconceived notions against one parent, to fail to interview all parties in person, and to disregard conflicting evidence. Judges utilize the same evaluators across family court cases and these evaluators apply the same diagnosis across a myriad of complex situations.

And where does this leave the child?

Consider this: You have a child, upset about his parents' divorce, lives with his mother, and is otherwise well-adjusted. Father wants custody. Child is stable, happy, and expresses no desire in custody change.

Do we force the child into changed custody? Are we as outsiders really the authority on telling this child that he must have a relationship with his father? If so, why?

Are children autonomous beings? Do children really have rights?

Consider this: Mother and child have been physically abused by father. Mother retains custody, maintains an environment that promotes honesty and healing, naturally invoking feelings of anger regarding family history. Father seeks a change in custody charging parental alienation. Mother and child become hostile, fueling the accusations. Change of custody is ordered and child is forced to undergo therapy with his abuser. Child is isolated from the parent with whom the original bond existed.

“Casualties of a Custody War”, Pittsburg Post Gazette.

‘While Gardner did not recommend transferring custody of the boys to Grieco at that point, he did recommend something he called ‘threat therapy.’

‘These children need coercion” to see their father, he said. If they are forced to visit him, they ‘then will most likely relax with their father.’

And the penalty for not complying, he said, should be court-enforced sanctions against the mother…. Nathan Grieco, 16, of North Huntingdon was found dead in his bedroom, a belt around his neck. His death came after years of custody disputes between his mother, Karen Scott, and his father, Louis Grieco.”

Psychology is faddish and often promotes harmful experimental therapies (not unlike the science community). Parental alienation theorists are performing a social experimentation, similar to the horrendous “rebirthing therapy” in which children were forced to undergo “treatment” in order to bond with their adoptive parents.

Stop casualties of pop therapy
Detroit News/May 2, 2001
By Martha A. Churchill

But the really chilling thing about the "rebirthing" casualty is the pop psychology, fad-of-the-day culture among many therapists, including some in Michigan. Unproven, dangerous practices spread around a national grapevine of irresponsible mental health practitioners. Certain ones latch on to a particular idea, like converts to a new religion, and won't let the facts get in the way of their beliefs.

Michigan has plenty of crusading therapists, using treatment methods just as questionable as rebirthing. Rather than testing their ideas in double-blind studies, these therapists throw around buzz words, especially "healing," "faith" and "spirituality."

Psychotherapists are not required to use only scientifically proven methods, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, or medications. The responsible ones choose treatments that withstand scientific scrutiny; others use whatever fad happens along.

Junk treatments are easy to spot. You hear testimonials from grateful patients who say breathlessly "My therapist saved my life!" Soon, someone is making a buck teaching the latest psycho fad. Therapists without scientific training assume that if a treatment method is taught at a seminar, it must be valid.

Some patients end up sicker on account of their therapy, but won't complain because they "believe in" the treatment.

The aforementioned article can be specifically applied to parental alienation syndrome.

How is this family therapy? How is this beneficial to the child? [It has been noted that these therapies are geared to benefiting the [target] parent, rather than the child.]

The answer is that it is truly beneficial to the parent with the large ego. The parent who knows that he can control and manipulate the family with the use of the legal system...because any other parent would make amicable negotiations. For an abuser, the court system is a kingdom in which he can reclaim his throne.

We are talking about divorce--an unpleasant situation, in general. And then we are talking about “high conflict” divorces, a term that is a mask for divorces involving a history of family violence. And on top of that, we are talking about scenarios that are a natural occurrence. People are mad, people are dealing with their pain, grief, and anger. PAS theory is trying to pathologicize normal behaviors and base things off of another's dislike of the other’s coping mechanisms. Or, it represents the abuser’s refusal to accept his own behavior as contributory to that of the others.

Science is supposed to cure pathological conditions. In psychology, there are no cures because everything is subjective. The reason that PAS theorists can claim that PAS is an epidemic, is that they are classifying normal behaviors. For example:

If I told you that 80% of people at funerals cry, does this mean that:
  1. Crying is an unhealthy behavior
  2. Crying is an epidemic.
Just because I am upset that people are crying and I am not, does that give me a right to call them not normal. And furthermore, outside of funerals, are people not crying?

Which this leads me to another point: PAS claims to be experienced in a select population. But can it not exist in intact families?

If the answer to this is yes, then what makes PAS so unique that it deserves treatment centers, awareness days, and government funding?

In an intact relationship, does a child not have a preference for one parent over another? Does a child not get angry with a parent and attempt to resolve that anger in a variety of ways, including, but not limited to, ceasing communication with that parent? Does this child not go to school and tell their friends about the incident, perhaps ridiculing the parent and building resentment in others? Does animosity not build within the household especially as the child ages and especially if the marital relationship is dysfunctional?

Now add the dynamics of abuse into the equation.

Why doesn't anyone ever ask what dysfunction existed in the household when the relationship was intact? Why doesn’t anyone ever ask who the primary caregiver was in the intact household? The answer is constantly omitted.

If children need stability and security in order to have healthy development, why must we interfere with this in order to appease angry parents? Is all of this nonsense not out of concern for the best interest of the children?

We are destroying children's coping mechanisms, natural defenses, and the use of boundaries by this parental alienation experimentation. There are no long term studies on the results of reunification therapy, deprogramming, or forced psychotherapy. If children are so resilient, why not ask them what they want and allow them to resolve their issues on their own?

According to PAS cult members, the child must exhibit certain "symptoms" in order for him to be labeled as alienated. But are they really labeling the child, or the protective parent? In the end, both are punished. So let's call parental alienation syndrome what is really is-- a legal tactic, enmeshed in politics, ignoring intricate familial patterns, and shifting the focus to support our victim-blaming culture.

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When Society Gave Custody to the Father

Myth -- The original common law solution of granting custody to fathers showed that society used to understand that fathers were equal child caregivers.

Fact: "Prior to the twentieth century, the legal status of women and children was tantamount to that of chattel. Married women could not enter into contracts, own or manage their own property, work in many professions, or even vote. That fathers got to keep what they 'owned' on divorce indicates nothing about actual caregiving, and tells us only that the power and status imbalance between men and women was extreme. In fact, after the relatively rare divorce, just as after the relatively common death of mothers in childbirth, the children actually were cared for and nurtured by older female siblings, aunts, grandmothers and other relatives, stepmothers, and household help."

[liznotes email [email protected] if you want detailed cites.]

Fact: "Direct paternal involvement in childrearing is a radical departure from almost all historical patterns of family structure."

Bloom-Feshbach, J. (1981). Historical perspectives on the father's role. In M. Lamb (Ed.) The role of the father in child development (2nd ed., pp. 71-112). New York: Wiley.

Also see: Robert B. Shoemaker. Gender in English Society 1650-1850: The Emergence of Separate Spheres? Themes in British Social History Series. London and New York: Longman, 1998.ISBN 0-582-10315-0.

Fact: [O]nly 100 years ago, 20% of women were killed by childbirth (or some related complication) and 20% to 50% of infants died during the first year of life... Until the 19th century... children were often considered worthless possessions --'just another mouth to feed'... often unwanted (no birth control), treated coldly (no cuddling and bonding), swaddled, and even beaten regularly and terrorized (some religious folks thought they had to drive out Satan and 'the stains of original sin') ...there have always been lots of single-parent families (caused by death); women have always worked outside the home (as servants and in the fields).

Kain, E. L. (1990). The myth of the family decline. Lexington, MA: Lexington Books. cited in RELATIONSHIPS WITHIN THE FAMILY, ISBN 1-890873-00-4 Copyright © 1996-2000 Clayton Tucker-Ladd & Mental Health Net

Fact: "[I]t would be a mistake to exaggerate or romanticize colonial men's involvement in family life. Although men could be attached to and indulgent of very young children, there is no evidence to suggest that they engaged in the daily care of infants or toddlers. Diapering, feeding, bathing, cooking, and other everyday tasks of childcare were left to wives, older daughters, or servants."

Mintz, Steven & Kellogg, Susan (1988). Domestic Revolutions: A Social History of American Family Life. New York: Free Press.

You can read more at the Liz Library.

There is a lot of talk about return back to the way things were, original ways, original families...I get a lot of people looking for the old "alienation of affection" law.

Who wants to go back to the olden days...when women couldn't get out of abusive marriages, when women couldn't have aspirations outside of the home? Hell, we couldn't even vote! Who benefits the most from these arrangements?

And you wonder why women initiate more divorces? Ha!


Belize Survivor, part 41

The rolling mountains of North Carolina were covered in pine forests as the old VW van struggled up one incline after another through the steep passes. The top-heavy vehicle swayed badly on abrupt curves, chugging and sputtering. Something was wrong with the timing, no doubt. Damn stupid air-cooled engines, Alexis thought. Damn! Listen to me. I sound like Max, she thought, criticizing herself even more. She shifted her leg to the right of the accelerator and used the cane to hold down the pedal. Her leg ached from the hours of continuous driving, but it didn't matter. At last she'd escaped from what had become an intolerable situation. She had left Max and was going back to Key West.

Poor Mom and Dad, she thought. They deserved more than that spaced-out note I left them. But what could I say? How much worse would they feel if they knew what had been going on from the start? What if they advised me to go back to Max?

Angry, yet saddened, she was hopelessly torn. In good faith, she had married Max and had hoped to stay with him, raise children, and grow old together. Yet they had also said that if it didn't work out, they could always get divorced and part friends. But somehow it wasn't like that. Marriage did something to people that was hard to untangle. They came together as two human beings, and ended up as one-and-a-half. In merging their lives, something changed, and honorable intentions became lost in obsession and avarice. Now Alexis felt grief but no remorse. The decision was made. The only way was straight ahead and south. Back to mother ocean and the call of the sea, back to the days before Max and cold northern winters.
By the time she reached South Carolina, she finally got up enough nerve to call her parents from a gas station.

"Hello, Dad?"

"Honey! It's you! Thank God you called. Are you all right? We've been so worried about you. Wait a minute so I can get your mother on the other line..."

Before Alexis could say anything more, she heard Frank calling out, and her mother replying with relief. "Hi, honey," Liz said, when she got on the phone. "Are you all right?"

"I'm okay. I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't know what to do, or what to say."

“We figured you'd call eventually,” Liz continued. “I'm just glad you didn't wait any longer. Where are you? We won’t tell Max unless you want us to."

"No. Don't tell him, at least not yet. I'm in South Carolina."

"How are you managing to drive with your bad leg?” Liz interjected. “You only just got the cast off a few weeks ago."

"It hasn't been easy. It still hurts a lot, but I’m managing."

"So what are you going to do? Are you leaving Max, or was this just something that will pass?" Frank asked.

"No,” said Alexis, controlling the slight quiver in her voice. “I wouldn't have left over something trivial. Maybe I just made a mistake when I married him – a big mistake. You were right all along, Dad. Max is different from when I first met him. Or maybe it's just his cultural background."

"Do you still love him?" asked Liz, taking over the conversation.

"I don't know, I'm all confused. I don't want to call it quits; I just want him to be the way he used to be. How did he react when I left?"

"He's been a mess, like a lost child,” Liz said emphatically. “At first he spent a lot of time over here at our house; he was drinking heavily. It wasn't easy for us. Things are falling apart on the ranch. Owen has been very upset."

"Mom, please. I feel like a fool as it is, but Max was being totally impossible. I just couldn't take it anymore."

“He's remorseful now.”

"You mean he's actually sorry?"

“Well, he says he is. He says he's been stupid and only wants you back so he can prove how much he loves you. He says he'll treat you like a queen if you'll only give him a second chance.

We talked to him last night on the phone. He called us from somewhere. Sounded like a party going on in the background."

"How depressed can he be if he’s out partying?"

"I don't know, dear," said Liz, tenderly. "We're not passing judgment one way or the other at this point. All I can say is he sounded very sincere and very unhappy."

"Do you think I ought to take him back? Is it worth what I've already put into the relationship? I mean, if it's not meant to be, it would be better to end it now, rather than later."

"Only you can be the true judge of that, honey. You'll have to do what's right in your own heart. If you still love him, then maybe it's worth another try. If not, then you still need to say what needs to be said, face to face."

"I'm going to Key West,” she said petulantly. “I've got to get away from the cold; the winter is so gloomy and depressing. Once I get to the sunshine again maybe I'll be able to think. Nothing is clear right now. I need space and time."

"What about the farm meanwhile?" said Frank. "The job with Owen?"

“I'm sorry. There's no way I can go back to that house. Not with Max."

No one said anything for a minute.

"Honey?" her father said finally. “Promise us that you'll stay in touch. Just don't cut us out of your life. We're here to help you, even though we're far away. Promise us you won't do anything rash."

"Don't worry. I'll stay in touch. I love you both. I'm sorry I left the way I did."

"It's all right, dear,” Liz added. “You just get yourself sorted out. We love you too. Call us again soon."

Richard Gardner's Parental Alienation, Woman-Abusing Research

What makes good science and good research? I'll let someone with expertise answer that. However, I find it circumspect that Dr. Richard Gardner, creator of parental alienation syndrome, repeatedly and practically exclusively, cited his own research when writing his research articles.
The American Journal of Family Therapy. 27:195-212, 1999

Family Therapy of the Moderate Type of Parental Alienation Syndrome

Department of Child Psychiatry, College of Physicians and Surgeons,
Columbia University, New York, New York, USA


Gardner, R. A. (1985). Recent trends in divorce and custody litigation. Academy Forum, 29(2), 3-7.

Gardner, R. A. (1986). Child custody litigation: A guide for parents and mental health professionals. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.

Gardner, R. A. (1987a). The parental alienation syndrome and the differentiation between false and genuine child sex abuse. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.

Gardner, R. A. (1987b). Child custody. In J. D. Noshpitz (Ed.), Basic handbook of child psychiatry (Vol. 5, pp. 637-646). New York: Basic Books.

Gardner, R. A. (1989). Family evaluation in child custody mediation, arbitration, and litigation. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutic.

Gardner, R. A. (1991). Sex abuse hysteria: Salem witch trials revisited. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.

Gardner, R. A. (1992a). The parental alienation syndrome: A guide for mental health and legal professionals. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.

Gardner, R. A. (1992b). True and false accusations of child sex abuse. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.

Gardner, R. A. (1993a). The child abuse prevention and treatment act for dealing with sex abuse hysteria in the United States. Issues in Child Abuse Accusations, 5(1), 25-27.

Gardner, R. A. (1993b, February 22). Modern witch hunt-child abuse charges [Op-Ed article]. The Wall Street Journal.

Gardner, R. A. (1993c). Sex-abuse hysteria: Diagnosis, etiology, pathogenesis, and treatment. Academy Forum, 37,(3), 2-5.

Gardner, R. A. (1995). Protocols for the Sex-Abuse Evaluation. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.

Gardner, R. A. (1996). Psychotherapy with sex-abuse victims: True, false, and hysterical. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.

Gardner, R. A. (in press). The Burgess decision and the Wallerstein brief. Journal of Psychiatry and the Law, 26(3), 1-7.

Gardner, R. A. (1998). The parental alienation syndrome (2nd ed.). Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.

Rand, D. C. (1997a). The spectrum of parental alienation syndrome (Part I). American Journal of Forensic Psychology, 15,(3), 23-52

Rand, D. C. (1997b). The spectrum of parental alienation syndrome (Part II). American Journal of Forensic Psychology, 15(4), 39-92

Waldron, K. H., & Joanis, J. D. (1996). Understanding and collaboratively treating parental alienation syndrome. American Journal of Family Law. 10, 121-133.

15 times?

Is this narcissism? Is this science?

Charging for Child Support: Exploitation of the Poor

While the video is about Virginia, this is applicable to many states and I will speak about my favorite: Florida.

If you are a recipient of child support collected by the state (in Florida= the Department of Revenue (DOR), Child Support Enforcement (CSE)) you have several ways in which you can receive your monies: paper check, direct deposit, or debit card. There are pros and cons to each. You must wait on a paper check to come in the mail. You must give up personal information about your bank (which you may have already done when you opened a TANF case) account. Or you could just access the money via a simple card, right? I mean, you don't have to give them any further information...and the money is deposited immediately...

Well, first off, if you use the child support debit card like you do any other debit card, then "someone" has a record of all of your purchases. Big brother is watching. I'm sure some child support paying fathers would love to have access to this information, but it is truly none of anyone's business. Second, if indeed you swipe that card here and there, it would be akin to taxing all of your purchases because of the fees. Try withdrawing your money in increments and you'll be taxing it again.

It doesn't sound like much, but 50 ¢ + 50¢ + $1.50 + $2, really can add up. That's gas money, bread, medical insurance co-payment money, etc.

It seems that states are really getting off on making profits on people's misery (see In Texas and Florida--Court Ordered Extortion: Because "Families Are Worth Saving").

And you thought the poor weren't paying taxes!!!!!

Debit card fees bite into child support payments

TROUTVILLE, Virginia (CNN) -- For the past year, Donna Chamberlain has worked at a fuel center here in Virginia's Roanoke Valley. It pays roughly half of what her old job did, but after being out of work for 14 months, she feels lucky to have it.

Adding to her concerns, she and her husband, Steve, are now the custodial parents of their 7-year-old special-needs grandson, Cayden. The family needs every penny it can collect.

So when state officials replaced the roughly $40-a-week child support check with a debit card, Donna read the fine print -- and left it on the table.

"It was automatically generated, and had my name on it," she told CNN. "This thing had 10 fees." Watch Chamberlain discuss the hidden fees Video

Virginia is one of two dozen states that use debit cards as one means of distributing child support payments, a move that allows them to reduce the amount of money spent issuing and mailing checks.

But the fees attached to the debit cards can accumulate quickly: 50 cents to make a telephone balance inquiry; 65 cents to make an ATM withdrawal after two free withdrawals are taken; and $2.75 if the card is used at an out-of-network bank.

Chamberlain found one charge particularly galling. North Carolina-based banking giant Wachovia, which distributes the funds on Virginia's behalf, said it would deduct $2.50 from her account for more than one face-to-face visit at one of its banks...

Fatherless Children and Substance Abuse

Myth -- Youth from "fatherless homes" are at higher risk for substance abuse.

Fact: Youth living with two biological or adoptive parents are significantly less likely to use alcohol, tobacco, and illegal drugs, or to report problems with their use, than youth not living with two parents. "[However] the highest risks of youth substance use, dependence, and need for illegal drug abuse treatment are found in families with a father and stepmother. Risks of youth substance use, dependence, and need for illegal drug abuse treatment are generally higher among youth who live with a biological father and a stepmother than among youth who live with a biological mother and a stepfather. Youths who live with a biological father and no mother or stepmother are more likely to use substances, to be dependent on substances, and to need illegal drug abuse treatment than youths who live with a biological mother and no father or stepfather."

Johnson, Hoffman, and Gerstein (1986), on the effects of family structure on adolescent substance abuse, data from 1995 National Household Survey on Drug Abuse.

You can read more at the Liz Library

This makes me think of all the druggies and alcoholics in my school days...what type of family structure did they have? and why? Sad.


In Texas and Florida--Court Ordered Exortion: Because "Families are Worth Saving"


the crime of obtaining money or some other thing of value by the abuse of one's office or authority.

oppressive or illegal exaction, as of excessive price or interest

In Texas, there is a bill on the floor that would require no-fault divorcing couples with children to take a 10-hour class...a class that could cost $200/hr.

You can thank Representative Warren Chisum for this brilliance.

Make no mistake that this isn't just lucrative for the government, Chisum stated his agenda:
"If we can save a few marriages, and I think we can save more than a few, but if we can save a few, it's worth our effort."

Bill proposes 'divorce classes'


It all starts out great, with the wedding and the parties.

But 45 percent of American marriages end in divorce.

In the last three months, more than 600 couples have filed for divorce in Dallas County alone.

There is one idea that might make it harder to make the split.

When Candace Aylor wanted a divorce, she would not have desired to take a marriage crisis counseling class and certainly would not want to pay for it...
In Florida, the divorce class is already a requirement. However, as an added bonus, last year's law added new fees to the court system--fees for filing counterclaims at the rate of $295.

Apparently, this fee was not supposed to apply to family court cases; but instead, county courthouses saw it as a investment they were unwilling to back down on.

Court Clerks Sued for Collecting Illegal Fees in Divorce Cases

TAMPA, Fla., March 25 /PRNewswire/ -- The Clerks of the Circuit Court have been charging and collecting illegal filing fees in divorce cases throughout the state, according to a class action lawsuit filed today in Hillsborough County. Thousands of cases have been affected and over one million dollars of illegal fees collected by the court clerks since last July, the lawsuit alleges. The suit was filed by several people who paid such fees in their own cases, on behalf of themselves and other people who have been subjected to the same illegal filing fees. It names the clerks of Hillsborough, Pinellas and Pasco counties as defendants and as representatives of all 67 clerks in the state.

When the legislature changed the law last year to authorize a filing fee of $295 on any counterclaim filed in circuit court, it did not specify that the fee could be charged on counterpetitions filed in family law cases. Although many of the clerks recognized that the new law might not apply to family law cases, virtually all of them began imposing the fees in those cases anyway. Last November, the Attorney General issued a formal opinion concluding that the filing fee was not authorized in family law cases. Some of the clerks stopped charging the filing fees after the Attorney General's opinion came out.

A large group of clerks, however, made an "immediate, conscious and deliberate" decision to disregard the Attorney General's opinion and to continue imposing the fees, according to the complaint. The day after the Attorney General's opinion was released and distributed to the clerks, the lawyer for Pat Frank, the clerk for Hillsborough County, wrote in an email that there was "consensus" among the clerks' lawyers to continue to charge the filing fee in divorce cases...

We keep trying to tell everyone that these legal professionals are rewriting the laws (and ignoring laws) in order to profit from them. When is everybody going to listen?

See Also: Tennessee's For Profit Divorce Industry Turns Children into Pawns