We have British Columbia's first review of family law in B.C. since the Family Relations Act came into force more than thirty years ago. Their July "White Paper on Family Relations Act Reform" (accepting submissions until Oct. 8) contains progressive draft legislation and policy proposals: It recommends stepping away from courts and the adversarial model in order to "adopt a conflict prevention approach to family law disputes" and urges making "children's best interests the only consideration in parenting disputes."Damn this is really groundbreaking. I am totally impressed that it took 30 years to come forward with this information. I mean, who knew that children's best interests should be so exclusively focused on?
Next up is the Green Party's unequivocal adoption of a policy of equal parenting at their August convention. By my reckoning that means every single federal party is on board with the idea that both parents have the right to maintain a strong, loving bond with their children, established through credible sociological research as necessitating 40% of the time with children beyond infancy.
The Green Party must be filled with such brilliant persons as well. This new idea that both parents have the right to maintain a strong, loving bond with their children is phenomenal. I guess before everyone discovered this, children have been totally missing out since their own parents (I assume the Green Party isn't made up of parents) couldn't figure it out. This means that most parents do not have their children's best interest in mind. The government should create laws to regulate parenting and force parents to maintain that strong, loving bond--and if they don't, there should be a penalty. Maybe they could show parents step-by-step, how to create this strong, loving bond that they speak of. Or maybe they should just take the kids and raise them themselves. Maybe a kid farm that will raise the nations kids strictly according to the latest, credible sociological research--because we know that research is never wrong. Sociological research is indeed so powerful that it can calculate a percentage (40%) that parents need to love their children beyond infancy. WOW! How can we ever succeed as parents unless they continuously update us on this stuff? Maybe they should send us a brief every morning to our e-mails, or play it on the news.
Then there is last week's release of the Law Commission of Ontario in-depth report on the family law system. The report deplores a system that can bankrupt litigants and routinely ignores the wishes and interests of children: "Children want to be heard but they feel they have no voice and no power in relation to adults, including their parents, lawyers, counsellors and judges."The system bankrupts litigants? Because it was my understanding that the person dragging the other person through the court, was abusing the system and therefore purposefully bankrupting the other person. Children aren't being heard because no one is listening to them--this would include not only their parents that obviously don't know how to parent, but the judges, the attorneys, the Guardians Ad Litems, and the psychologists, who don't seem to know how to parent either. But the later half of persons are legally allowed to get away with it and blame it on one of the incompetent parents.
Is there anyone who believes that our family court system doesn't need reform? Perhaps some aging radical feminists who are content with the fact that fathers are offered shared or sole residential custody in only about 6% of court-contested cases...Yeah, those gawddamn aging radical feminists are totally clogging up Canada, and other areas. They prevent real, evidenced-based growth in society. Maybe they'll die off soon so that we can all have shared equal parenting because today's kids aren't the lovely kids from yesteryear. Seriously, a measly 6% of fathers win custody in contested court cases? What kinda shit is that? Especially since contested cases are all that matter. If every single child custody case is contested, then fathers (I mean, children) are really losing BIG TIME. If every divorce case in Canada is actually a contested court cases, then most of Canada is filled with all these sad children without access to their fathers. OMG, who allowed this to happen?
"A National Post poll indicated that 91% of its readership supported equal custody as an alternative to sole custody determination, and a recent poll by the federal government has 80% of the public, from every political persuasion, supporting equal parenting."Yes, 91% of the people who read that publication, support equal custody. That is awesome! And the feds did a poll, too! I wonder who was included and I wonder if they know what equal parenting is. Wait a minute, are equal custody and equal parenting the same thing? This is getting a little confusing. We need Barbara Kay to provide some research to help us straighten this out.
What are most fathers asking for? According to the EPC, the clearly stated primary goal would appear to be equal physical parenting. Advocacy in the equal parenting movement has moved well beyond fathers' rights groups, and is now a broad-based coalition of both mothers and fathers. More and more women realize that excluding fathers from their children's lives is unethical and psychologically counter-productive for everyone involved. Fathers want more input than just offering suggestions that their ex-wives can ignore. They want to truly share in parenting, including all its responsibilitiesOkay, so fathers want equal physical parenting? You keep switching the language, Barb, and now we're not sure what fathers want. We need you to be very clear so that we can give it to them. Then again, it probably isn't important. They just want to be equal and share stuff and that makes sense. Us wommenfolk that have been raising children and pushing the bastard's father away intentionally now realize what a mistake we've made. That poverty and little-to-no resources and working 2 and 3 jobs that we've trudged through was less significant than the fact that dad has been absent--sitting on the sidelines because of our own actions. We are so sorry that we prevented these previously active dads from truly sharing in all the parenting all these years. We didn't understand that these dads wanted to share in the responsibilities of raising children. I guess, as whores, golddiggers, and welfare queens, our minds were so clouded that we couldn't recognize these great men when we saw them. This is probably where the government should step in too--to help us recognize great men.
Decades ago women told men they had to take more responsibility for active parenting. They listened. Fathers have earned the moral right to equality of involvement in their children's lives in post-separation agreements as a matter of social justice. It is now up to our legislatures and judiciary to assume responsibility for establishing an equal-parenting presumption in law.
And yes, it is true, we mothers told father that we wanted them to be active and help us do this parenting thing. All the fathers then stepped to the plate and did just that which allowed us to be able to enter the workforce and other nice things that us moms couldn't do while we were doing 100% of the child caretaking. We must thank men/fathers eternally for the graciousness that they have shown us in the family arena and relieving us of the burden of raising these kids. Now we must prove that we really mean it and let these fathers continue all the work of fathering that they have been doing, even if we divorce and go our separate ways. He didn't divorce the children, after all.